Can animals be hypnotized, just like humans?—S. Davis, Santa Paula, Calif.
Despite anecdotal reports, no. Human hypnosis is characterized by increased suggestibility and a diminished perception of reality. Animals may be temporarily confused, terrified or reduced to a state of “paralysis” by inappropriate handling or mistreatment, such as swinging them or holding them tightly in an unnatural position. But this isn’t hypnosis; it’s cruelty to animals.
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I overslept this morning.. (wife and kids are out of town) and "apparently", while I got up around 10am, my dogs actually needed to go potty at around 8am... so needless to say I awoke to several shit bombs in my living room (right in front of the TV no less) as well as a nice dinner-plate sized puddle of warm urine. I don't imagine it helped that I fed them at around 11pm the night before (better late than never) and I also changed up their food(see also: weak stools).
The "good thing" was that we'd recently purchased a rug doctor carpet cleaner. After cleaning up most of the soft poop with a papertowel and expunging most of the piss with a bath towel - I started to shampoo the carpet. After shampooing the spots where the dogs went poop - I went to the bathroom to exchange out the dirty water for clean water - and when I returned, one of my dogs "Snoopy" was perched IN FRONT OF THE SHAMPOOER TAKING ANOTHER SHIT!
"SNOOOOPY!!" I roared
Now... I would say, as outlined in Vic's blog entry - that Snoopy was indeed temporarily confused, terrified and reduced to a state of "paralysis" - but I would say, in defense of the situation, that what followed wasn't "Inappropriate handling or mistreatment" because - at times - swinging them or holding them tightly in an "unnatural" position - is warranted.
I think when a dog sits and watches you cleaning up his indoor crap......waits till you leave the room…...sashays over to the shampooer....and begins to cop another dump...this is a clear doggie style statement of premeditated “nah-nah- na-nah-nah” and this dog is absolutely trying to get in your face. One should not hypnotize this dog, but one would be entirely justified in swinging the dog by the tail in great circular motions about ones head and shoulders at increasingly faster speeds and at some point releasing said dog out any open window or door (Figuratively speaking)
So this morning (wife and kids still out of town) I was laying in bed around 7am listening to some "Sounds of Nature" that I'd queued up on the TV prior to falling asleep the night before. I had tried to let the dogs out of their kennel area last night but they weren't budging... "Fine hold it!" I said.
So, it was 7am, and I figured I should get out of bed "do the right thing" and take the dogs out.
When I turned the corner to the kennel area (actually just a laundry room closed off by a baby-gate divider - I noticed that the gate had been toppled over and one dog had gotten out. So apparently when I was listening to birds and rivers dreaming about all of the carpet shampooing that I did - one dog had managed to get out.
My next instinct, and rightfully so, was to lean back, and look around the corner at the carpet in front of the TV and YUP... "Sho nuf!" (I start talking Ebonics when I get real mad) - there was a modern-shit-art exihibit of Nagasaki and Hiroshima in my living room again...
I wasn't sure what to do so I logged into this blog and was quickly able to locate the appropriate "WWVD" reference article on the little known sport called "Doggy Discus"
Now, I have two dogs and while they are both schnauzers - one is significantly heavier than the other one. So I figured I'd start my "inappropriate handling" with the little one (so as to not throw my back out because I had yet to do my yoga, and figured "stretching" would elevate this to "premeditated" from "crime of passion" should something go wrong) - unfortunately however Vic's entry eloquently justifies swinging a dog by it's tail, but fails to account for the sans-tail Schnauzer - so I just made a reasonable substitution - and started spinning (of course, figuratively speaking).
Maybe these dogs will "Run away" before my wife and kids get back.
www.craigslist.org/freeschnauzers.om
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