Found an "Alternative" dictionary online... some samples below.Textpectation
The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.
"I just texted her for a date - but now the textpectation is killing me."
Alculate
To calculate how cost effective an alcoholic beverage is. Otherwise known as the cost per shot ratio.
"Good Push"
A "Tip-of-the-Hat", if you will, after a bystander passes gas in an egregious manner. Basically it is your vote of approval during post-flatulence that the individual did indeed go above and beyond the normal farting standards
Frisbeetarianism
The philosophy that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and gets stuck. (George Carlin)
"I don't believe in rencarnation I am a strong Frisbeetarianist."
Courtesy wash
The common practice of men, where after using a public restroom, instead of actually washing their hands, they simply slightly dampen them under the sink and then dry them on the pants or a paper towel. Thus giving the illusion that they did in fact wash their hands.
"She ragged on you about washing your hands? Why didn't you do a courtesy wash?"
yellow listed
a person who does not wash their hands after urinating is placed on the 'yellow list', or they are 'yellow listed'
"Co-worker: You may want to double up on the hand sanitizer after shaking hands with Edith, she was yellow listed last week"
Roman helmet
While they are passed out, gently and inconspicuously place your fleshy bag on their forehead while carefully laying down your dudemeat down the bridge of their nose in parallel fashion
"Gary passed out, so we all took turns fitting him for a roman helmet"
2 comments:
I don't think the roman helment fashion thing ever caught on down south...must be a colorado thing?
I just noticed the hyperlinks in the story...so naturally I went to the site: from the Urban Dictionary: sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you dont multiply!
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