Too bad so sad ...

Was watching "Man vs. Wild" just now (this guy puts himself into extreme situations and (in an albeit it sensationalized manner) attempts to inform the viewer how to survive in the arctic, or rain Forrest, or ...as in the case of this episode - the desert.

Anyway, in this episode, he proceeds to gut a camel in search of fluids - and I learnt that not only is there a certain amount of "drinkable" fluids "between" the camel's organs which could sustain life (which the host "Bear Grylls" also indeed drinks) but that you can also rip into the stomach and squeeze the "juice" from the digested food (some might call this stuff 'shit') - which is also "drinkable"... anyway... and here's the kicker...

If by chance you've found yourself stranded in a desert somewhere and you've already completely skinned and gutted your camel and you've decided it best to "take shelter" ... um "inside" of the camel's carcASS because you've found yourself up against a nasty sandstorm but worried to yourself "Self, what if I'm hiding inside of this camel's carcAss, and while I may be able to avoid the nasty sand storm what if I tragically get mauled by wild coyotes because they smell the flesh?" then, if you're a man - you should hop out and pee in a circle around your camel-casa - creating essentially a "urine perimeter" and if you did this you've be set! - because the testosterone in your urine would keep the coyotes at bay and you could subsequently drift off into the night nestled inside of a camel's carcass sucking your thumb or whatever! sweet! ... but - BUT! if you're a female and you find yourself taking shelter in a skinned goat carcass to avoid a sandstorm - and thought - HEY! maybe I'll create a urine "force-field" by peeing in a circle around the gutted camel to keep the mangy coyotes at bay - then you've be fucked! because them there coyotes couldn't care less because you're urine lacks the necessary testosterone and so too bad so sad...

I have to admit that now I am already feeling a warm sense of calm come over me and while some might exclaim "MALBEC!" that might indeed be the root cause but I actually think it's because I now know that if I ever find myself stranded in the desert, thirsty - and worried about being attacked by coyotes while taking shelter inside of a camel's carcASS to avoid an impending sand storm - that I'll be "golden".

No Safe Food?

Yea so, once (many years ago) I was eating a salad (definition: green bedding - no tomatoes - for my ranch dressing and croutons) and found a small WORM! on the lettuce. This freaked me out and made me think twice about eating anything that had not been sufficiently processed. I have often stated, "I like to stick to peanut butter crackers; they're processed, clean, wrapped for safety..." Last week, I learnt that the peanut butter and peanut paste used in commercial kitchens, cookies, and peanut butter crackers is the subject of a serious salmonella scare. As you can imagine, I almost choked on my cracker when I heard this. If you can't trust Austin and Little Debbie, who can you trust?

Heard on NPR this morning.......glasses for everyone!!

We revere Santa Claus as our mysterious giver of gifts, but the rest of the world may reserve that spot for Josh Silver
. Professor Joshua Silver, to be specific - a retired physics teacher at Oxford University who has developed “Silver Glasses” which are tunable spectacles that need no optometrist to adjust. That’s because the glasses have syringes filled with silicone liquid connected to each lens, and the wearer only has to inject or suck out the fluid until the view through the lenses looks right. Voilà! No optometrist fees, and the glasses are cheap and rugged. It’s a bit reminiscent of the One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) program, which brought bare-bones laptops to impoverished nations. 10,000 Silver Glasses have already been delivered to Ghana on a trial basis, and Silver and co. hope to send out one million pairs a year, with the hope of having one billion of the spectacles on heads around the world by 2020.

Yay for Aubri!

In the past couple weeks, I learned again that our little daily worries and annoyances mean nothing in the big picture. Hooray for good health...and swingsets!

we learnt to count.................

I learnt that I am a counter..and I think we all are born to be.......from very early we count stuff...like toes, fingers, days, money, inches, weight, distance, rooms, cars, orgasms, , shoes, days to retirement, time, books, calories, friends, jobs, hats, and so on and so on and scooby dooby doooooo............

Made a new food group at least for me............

I was screwing around the other night...and making hummus....had an avocado and said what the hell...I put the avocado in with the hummus..garbonzo bean.... in my magic bullet short cup and made a hummus and avocado mix..kinda like a guacamole mix but surprisingly good...with wheat crackers...........

A Good Day

do you like Parmesan cheese......

I heard about this over the Christmas break...you can buy hard parmesan cheese in a grating container...for about $5......sounds like a deal to me.

Night time entertainment in the Village

Really cool compilation

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28192685/

Whoa Nelly!

This one of Ribherds inventions?

[Swipe Card]
Enter pin number
[credit]
Enter pin number
[enter]
[enter pin]
[cancel]
Please swipe card
[enter pin]
[clear]
Process as credit or debit?
[credit]
[press yes to proceed]
[processing transaction]
[is amount correct?]
[yes]
[please wait for cashier]
Waiting...
[processing transaction]
[sign pen pad]
[yes]
[accept]
[take your receipt]
[thank you]

I was thinking they should add a few more f'ing steps to process a simple credit card transaction. However I do kinda like the guessing game... when it says Enter pin number do you hit "clear" or "Cancel" some places you hit clear and some places you hit cancel, but some places if you hit 'cancel' it cancels your transaction all together. I had one guy at a sporting goods store tell me I needed to hit credit, then yes twice, then credit again, then yes...."Whatever you say buddy"

The ship was the pride of the American side.........

When supper time came the old cook came on deck

Saying fellows it's too rough to feed ya

At 7PM a main hatchway caved in

He said fellas it's been good to know ya.

If you ever have 10 minutes to kill................

go to Google Images and type in "urinals"..........strange visions indeed.

If you could do one thing in all 50 states.......

If you could do one thing in all 50 states,what would it be?

For Mike Walsh, the answer was simple: bowl. Propelled by a curiosity to see America through a common, if beer-framed, lens, he quits his job and sets out to meet the people who populate the country’s bowling alleys. His adventure becomes much more than a simple bowling trip as he veers beyond the game’s ten frames and into the heart of America. The resulting book, BOWLING ACROSS AMERICA: 50 States in Rented Shoes, is in bookstores now.

So you want to dry your hands?

I saw one of these in an airport bathroom. It is like the greatest hand drier I have ever seen. It blows like a jet engine! Is America Great or what?

So you get a new camera..........

and the first thing you need to figure out is how to turn it off.

Ear me now..........ear me later.

I have found that you cannot properly clean your ears with a regular washcloth. You have to use one that is a minimum of 5 years old and has been washed at least 300 times. You want an almost threadbare white one so you can wrap your finger in it when you swab out your ear flap. Upon visual inspection of said cloth, the white one will indicate if you are accomplishing your mission. If you use a regular washcloth, it is too thick and fluffy and will not get in the ear correctly...causing skin flakes and soap residue to gather in the cup valley of the ear. I remember when I use to travel in the 70's the Hotel 8 chain had perfect washcloths for this function. I would sometimes take one with me on my travels. (Always leaving an extra 25 or 35 cents on the dresser to cover the hotel's replacement cost.)

I have thought about this for a while and just recently brought a couple of very very old cloths from my Florida collection to Colorado for daily use.

I am pretty sure this is the best gift ever

I mean come on.....Does it get any better than this:

Pet Cam
Get a pet's eye view of the world, like National Geographic scientists do with our Crittercam, featured in PBS's Wild Chronicles. This ultra-compact and extremely durable digital camera clips onto your pet's collar, just like an ID tag. Water-resistant ABS housing keeps it secure while your pet roams, giving you the chance to see what the world looks through their eyes. The internal memory stores many photos and the timer can be set to take a shot every 1, 5, or 15 minutes. Includes a USB charger, USB cable, lithium-ion battery.
2"W x 2.2"H x 1.3"D; 4 oz.

One Half Inch

Today I learnt a definitive sign that the economy is in the carper....TP takes a short cut.