Lock de door....Lock de door!!!!

I guess everyone knows that you have to use hot sauce to make real buffalo chicken wings. Well I found a bottle of Franks Red Hot Buffalo Wing Sauce at Targeto the other night. (I was looking for that Asian fish sauce..what ever it is called to make some Rachel Ray Thai Chicken..but that is another story) . I usually use the wing sauce on sale at King Sooper.

I think I read somewhere (maybe on the Franks label) that the very first original buffalo wings ever made in Buffalo NY used Franks as the secret ingredient. So I got the sauce, and cooked the wings like it said: 20 minutes at 500 degrees. I took them out and decided they needed another 4 minutes. Popped them back in and cooked some more. Took them out and put 1/2 cup of the sauce on them , shook and tossed them in my big plastic jar thing. They were GREAT!!!!! I think they are even better than messing around with frying them. Don't be afraid of the 500 degrees.

tried something new today........

I have never shaved with my glasses on. So this morning I tried it. Found out that if you wear progressive trifical glasses...when you lean your head back to see under your chin...the picture in the mirror blurs. So another great idea bites the dust.

Today I learnt . . . that I have Synesthesia

While studying for my Biological Psychology course this evening I discovered that I have Synesthesia. Page 219 of Kalat's "Biological Psychology 1oth ed." reads,

"Synesthesia is the experience of one sense in response to stimulation of a different sense. In the words of one person, 'To me, the taste of beef is dark blue. The smell of almonds is pale orange . . . '"

I have always known in my heart of hearts that the feel of velvet fabric is a deep rich purple.

How about you? Do you have Synesthesia?

BTW This condition is actually visible (diagnosable) on a brain scan.

More useful survival tips

Last night while watching Man vs. Wild – I learnt that if you’re lost in a desert somewhere and you’ve already scalped a snake – that you can tie a knot around one end of the “snake tube” if you will, and then piss in it and then seal off the other end with another knot. Then if you get really thirsty, you can un-tie one end of your snake-skin-piss-water-balloon thing and drink your own piss.

Now I know why people carry around water bottles – to prevent this type of situation becoming a reality.

“Why are you always carrying around a bottle of water?”
“Cause, imagine if I didn’t have water and I had to piss inside of a snake’s skin and drink it”
“oh, Good point”

I did also learnt that you don’t just want to eat snow if you are thirsty and stranded in a snowy area … apparently eating snow can eventually burn the inside of your mouth, causing sores, ulcers, etc., so it is best to stuff the snow into something like a water bottle, or a snake tube – so that it can melt – and then you can drink it safely.

Not to mention - as I read my own posting again - I would also conclude that you could piss in the snow, and then take the yellow snow and put it in a snake tube and then drink it. Now while this might be considered "Semantics" - it does sorta debunk the age old warning against yellow snow. Maybe it wasn't the fact that it was yellow - rather the fact that eating snow in general wasn't your best bet - Anyway I will do some more research and let you know.

I was standin in line.................

So I was standing in line at the jumbo mumbo gumbo festival in Manitou Springs yesterday. Waiting to get my tickets to sample 6 different types of

jambalaya at the cook off. (writing this reminds me of the Rollin stone song line "I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy....And man, did he look pretty ill".)........ Anyway, the woman behind us started talking about foods to eat. We covered boiled peanuts, chicken livers, and broccoli. She said she was an Omnivore. I guess I missed school that day because the word did not register with me...or perhaps the junction across which my nerve impulses pass from an axon terminal to a neuron, muscle cell or gland cell neuron is not working as well as it once did. But anyway, I found out and wrote it down in my book of knowledge: Omnivore means to eat both vegetables and meat. from Latin: omne all, everything; vorare to devour. I had two years of Latin in high school and apparently retained little. I do rember: Britania est insula. So all in all it was a great day at the festival.

Stuff I learnt about hands...........

A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthystudy, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexualactivity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Never too old to learn........

I saw Steph the other day and she gave me a bag of "prunes". I ate them and remembered that I love prunes but I haven't bought any in years. So, a few days later, while shopping at the local King Sooper I eased down the aisle to buy some. I saw prunes and plums. The prunes were $4.95 a bag (2 oz.) and the plums were $2.99 a bag (10 oz.). Since I am taking an Economics class this semester, I immediately pulled out my trusty Virgin Mobile pimp phone, mashed the correct combination of keys to get me to TOOLS, went down to CALCULATOR, and determined my best buy, from strictly a monetary view was the plums. A few days later, while Skyping with Steph, I mentioned the good deal I got on plums vs. prunes. And that they tasted just as good. She advised me that plums are the same as prunes. I never knew that and frankly was skeptical. So of course I wikopediaed her ass and found out: Dried Plums as they're called in the U.S. and Prunes, as they're still known in the rest of the world are the same thing. (And a bonus tidbit: California produces more dried plums/prunes than the rest of the world combined...which reminded me of the "fact" that Polk County Florida grows more oranges than all of California..which may have been true back in the day, but I seriously doubt now). Anyway, this proves we are never too old to learn some very important stuff.

bear got nothing on me

D-unit said I should catch a critter like that bear guy . I have been experimenting with different methods of disabling a critter effectively...seems I may be able to choke a chicken, if I get more practice.

Good Clean Fun

This weekend we flew to Seattle then went to visit our friend Faye at her new BAH (Big Ass House) that she built. (Yea, she was the general contractor!) Anyway, I learned that if you build a shower with enough shower heads (8 to be exact), Ribhard will never want to leave "water world". (You're welcome, D-Unit. I know you were just about to comment thanking me for not posting a picture of Ribhard in the shower.)

"Nonono, Don't put that in your vent...."

Today I learnt again that, while drugs can be fun(ny), they can also be very frightening. If you have not already done so, you must watch a 2 minute (1:59) video on youtube called "david after dentist" - accept no substitutes; ignore the 'remix' and other sequels until you've watched the original. THEN watch "chad after dentist" to truly understand what a universal experience this can be. :)

In the name of survival...

Salt is cheap

When avocados are a ridiculous $1.99 each and bananas are 69 cents a pound and damn chicken wings are getting up to almost $3.00 a pound..it is nice to see salt is still cheap. 49 cents a box when I bought some the other day. (I had to use a whole carton to make boil peanuts as you recall)...my only question is why is it sold in 26 oz boxes?

PS ever notice that we all have salt and baking powder old as our kids in the pantry?

Too bad so sad ...

Was watching "Man vs. Wild" just now (this guy puts himself into extreme situations and (in an albeit it sensationalized manner) attempts to inform the viewer how to survive in the arctic, or rain Forrest, or ...as in the case of this episode - the desert.

Anyway, in this episode, he proceeds to gut a camel in search of fluids - and I learnt that not only is there a certain amount of "drinkable" fluids "between" the camel's organs which could sustain life (which the host "Bear Grylls" also indeed drinks) but that you can also rip into the stomach and squeeze the "juice" from the digested food (some might call this stuff 'shit') - which is also "drinkable"... anyway... and here's the kicker...

If by chance you've found yourself stranded in a desert somewhere and you've already completely skinned and gutted your camel and you've decided it best to "take shelter" ... um "inside" of the camel's carcASS because you've found yourself up against a nasty sandstorm but worried to yourself "Self, what if I'm hiding inside of this camel's carcAss, and while I may be able to avoid the nasty sand storm what if I tragically get mauled by wild coyotes because they smell the flesh?" then, if you're a man - you should hop out and pee in a circle around your camel-casa - creating essentially a "urine perimeter" and if you did this you've be set! - because the testosterone in your urine would keep the coyotes at bay and you could subsequently drift off into the night nestled inside of a camel's carcass sucking your thumb or whatever! sweet! ... but - BUT! if you're a female and you find yourself taking shelter in a skinned goat carcass to avoid a sandstorm - and thought - HEY! maybe I'll create a urine "force-field" by peeing in a circle around the gutted camel to keep the mangy coyotes at bay - then you've be fucked! because them there coyotes couldn't care less because you're urine lacks the necessary testosterone and so too bad so sad...

I have to admit that now I am already feeling a warm sense of calm come over me and while some might exclaim "MALBEC!" that might indeed be the root cause but I actually think it's because I now know that if I ever find myself stranded in the desert, thirsty - and worried about being attacked by coyotes while taking shelter inside of a camel's carcASS to avoid an impending sand storm - that I'll be "golden".

No Safe Food?

Yea so, once (many years ago) I was eating a salad (definition: green bedding - no tomatoes - for my ranch dressing and croutons) and found a small WORM! on the lettuce. This freaked me out and made me think twice about eating anything that had not been sufficiently processed. I have often stated, "I like to stick to peanut butter crackers; they're processed, clean, wrapped for safety..." Last week, I learnt that the peanut butter and peanut paste used in commercial kitchens, cookies, and peanut butter crackers is the subject of a serious salmonella scare. As you can imagine, I almost choked on my cracker when I heard this. If you can't trust Austin and Little Debbie, who can you trust?

Heard on NPR this morning.......glasses for everyone!!

We revere Santa Claus as our mysterious giver of gifts, but the rest of the world may reserve that spot for Josh Silver
. Professor Joshua Silver, to be specific - a retired physics teacher at Oxford University who has developed “Silver Glasses” which are tunable spectacles that need no optometrist to adjust. That’s because the glasses have syringes filled with silicone liquid connected to each lens, and the wearer only has to inject or suck out the fluid until the view through the lenses looks right. Voilà! No optometrist fees, and the glasses are cheap and rugged. It’s a bit reminiscent of the One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) program, which brought bare-bones laptops to impoverished nations. 10,000 Silver Glasses have already been delivered to Ghana on a trial basis, and Silver and co. hope to send out one million pairs a year, with the hope of having one billion of the spectacles on heads around the world by 2020.

Yay for Aubri!

In the past couple weeks, I learned again that our little daily worries and annoyances mean nothing in the big picture. Hooray for good health...and swingsets!

we learnt to count.................

I learnt that I am a counter..and I think we all are born to be.......from very early we count stuff...like toes, fingers, days, money, inches, weight, distance, rooms, cars, orgasms, , shoes, days to retirement, time, books, calories, friends, jobs, hats, and so on and so on and scooby dooby doooooo............

Made a new food group at least for me............

I was screwing around the other night...and making hummus....had an avocado and said what the hell...I put the avocado in with the hummus..garbonzo bean.... in my magic bullet short cup and made a hummus and avocado mix..kinda like a guacamole mix but surprisingly good...with wheat crackers...........

A Good Day

do you like Parmesan cheese......

I heard about this over the Christmas break...you can buy hard parmesan cheese in a grating container...for about $5......sounds like a deal to me.