Night time entertainment in the Village

Really cool compilation

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28192685/

Whoa Nelly!

This one of Ribherds inventions?

[Swipe Card]
Enter pin number
[credit]
Enter pin number
[enter]
[enter pin]
[cancel]
Please swipe card
[enter pin]
[clear]
Process as credit or debit?
[credit]
[press yes to proceed]
[processing transaction]
[is amount correct?]
[yes]
[please wait for cashier]
Waiting...
[processing transaction]
[sign pen pad]
[yes]
[accept]
[take your receipt]
[thank you]

I was thinking they should add a few more f'ing steps to process a simple credit card transaction. However I do kinda like the guessing game... when it says Enter pin number do you hit "clear" or "Cancel" some places you hit clear and some places you hit cancel, but some places if you hit 'cancel' it cancels your transaction all together. I had one guy at a sporting goods store tell me I needed to hit credit, then yes twice, then credit again, then yes...."Whatever you say buddy"

The ship was the pride of the American side.........

When supper time came the old cook came on deck

Saying fellows it's too rough to feed ya

At 7PM a main hatchway caved in

He said fellas it's been good to know ya.

If you ever have 10 minutes to kill................

go to Google Images and type in "urinals"..........strange visions indeed.

If you could do one thing in all 50 states.......

If you could do one thing in all 50 states,what would it be?

For Mike Walsh, the answer was simple: bowl. Propelled by a curiosity to see America through a common, if beer-framed, lens, he quits his job and sets out to meet the people who populate the country’s bowling alleys. His adventure becomes much more than a simple bowling trip as he veers beyond the game’s ten frames and into the heart of America. The resulting book, BOWLING ACROSS AMERICA: 50 States in Rented Shoes, is in bookstores now.

So you want to dry your hands?

I saw one of these in an airport bathroom. It is like the greatest hand drier I have ever seen. It blows like a jet engine! Is America Great or what?

So you get a new camera..........

and the first thing you need to figure out is how to turn it off.

Ear me now..........ear me later.

I have found that you cannot properly clean your ears with a regular washcloth. You have to use one that is a minimum of 5 years old and has been washed at least 300 times. You want an almost threadbare white one so you can wrap your finger in it when you swab out your ear flap. Upon visual inspection of said cloth, the white one will indicate if you are accomplishing your mission. If you use a regular washcloth, it is too thick and fluffy and will not get in the ear correctly...causing skin flakes and soap residue to gather in the cup valley of the ear. I remember when I use to travel in the 70's the Hotel 8 chain had perfect washcloths for this function. I would sometimes take one with me on my travels. (Always leaving an extra 25 or 35 cents on the dresser to cover the hotel's replacement cost.)

I have thought about this for a while and just recently brought a couple of very very old cloths from my Florida collection to Colorado for daily use.

I am pretty sure this is the best gift ever

I mean come on.....Does it get any better than this:

Pet Cam
Get a pet's eye view of the world, like National Geographic scientists do with our Crittercam, featured in PBS's Wild Chronicles. This ultra-compact and extremely durable digital camera clips onto your pet's collar, just like an ID tag. Water-resistant ABS housing keeps it secure while your pet roams, giving you the chance to see what the world looks through their eyes. The internal memory stores many photos and the timer can be set to take a shot every 1, 5, or 15 minutes. Includes a USB charger, USB cable, lithium-ion battery.
2"W x 2.2"H x 1.3"D; 4 oz.

One Half Inch

Today I learnt a definitive sign that the economy is in the carper....TP takes a short cut.

Race is canceled

what goes up....must come down

Gas getting close to where it should be all the time.

I learnt how to make home-made cranberry sauce

It was easy and cheap. And unlike many of my attempts at recipes, this turned out really good tasting. One cup of water, one cup of sugar, an orange, and 12 oz of fresh cranberries. The package of cranberries was $1.67 at Wal-Mart...the sugar is almost free...and I snagged an orange off of my tree outside. You mix it up, bring to a boil, and then simmer. Takes about 15 - 20 minutes total from beginning to end. Makes the kitchen smell good. Try it, you will like it. And I hear cranberries are good for you too. Happy Thanksgiving!

Hang in there...............

Dr. Seuss' first book was rejected 27 times.

Think Dr. Seuss had it tough? 38 publishers rejected Margaret Mead's Pulitzer-winning Gone With the Wind.


So if a little rain falls on your parade or some people seem to be negative towards your ideas, don't be discouraged.

Ktrak - is this the coolest bike or what?

I can see j and ashlee on this right now!!!

whales are very large, old, and can make a lot of noise:

Blue whales produce sounds that travel 1,200 miles.

That's the farthest away of any animal on earth. The crazy thing is, you can't hear the noise. "The low-pitch sounds can reach 15 hertz," says Dave Mellinger, associate professor at Oregon State University, "while the human ear can detect noises only as low as 20 hertz." The blue whale's massive size—it's the largest animal on earth, surpassing any dinosaur that ever lived—allows it to produce sounds that are louder and lower in frequency than their fellow ocean dwellers.

The goal is...........

for the digestive tract to run like a swiss train: everything leaving the station on time.

Suck it up tough guy...

Well, I’ve really been struggling to walk on my left foot since I finished the marathon. It hurts to put any weight on it, and even hurts when I’m not putting any weight on it. All other aches and pains have pretty much gone away but my left foot has gotten worse, so I went into the podiatrist today. What I “Learnt” was that once you’ve run a marathon – "apparently" doctors think it’s alright to mock any complaints about pain. Like “you’ve run a marathon and now you’re going to complain about little aches and pains?” It seems that “bedside” manners no longer apply.

So I’m laying there with my foot up in the air …

[nurse prepares the needle for my foot]

Doctor: "So what type of running shoes do you wear?" he asks, making small talk, I'm sensing he's trying to distract me?

[Wham! nurse stabs needle into my foot before I can answer]

Dustin: "ou-ah-ee---oh!---youch-ooh-ah-SHEESH!"

Doctor: "I've never heard of that brand of running shoe before" he says with a smirk... bastard

I can now say I'd rather have a needle injected into my mouth, or ass, before I'd go back for an injection into my foot. That was terrible. So I took my sucker, grabbed a trinket out of the kiddy goody-basket and told them to buzz off.

the times they are a changin........

I was sitting in class the other night.... pickin my nose and dosing off as usual......and I half-way heard the teacher mention some big ass business deals that changed the financial face of America at the turn of the century...so I am thinking what the hell happened back then that was such a big deal?.......and then he mentioned Enron and Sarbanes-Oxley..and it dawned on me he was talking about THE TURN OF THE CENTURY AS IN THE YEAR 2000!!!!!!!! ..not like 1900.......man the times they are a changin..........

black and white..there is a difference..............

I bought some white pepper for a dill chicken recipe a few months ago. I thought it probably tastes about the same as black pepper..... Never really tasted it by itself. Then, the other day I ran out of black pepper in our table pepper shaker. So I loaded up the pepper shaker with white pepper. There is a HELL of a difference in the taste of black and white pepper! and the brand I bought is ground very very fine. So when I shook a few shakes of the shaker, I got a ton of pepper. It tasted kinda musky or gamy. Very different.

Is america great or what?????

Vail, Colorado, August 18, 2005, Vail-based When I Grow Up, Inc., announced today the launch of its first product, the Snot Spot......., designed to tackle a problem that plagues every winter athlete, the runny nose. The Snot Spot is a washable, reusable fleece tissue worn over a winter glove to provide a soft, absorbent surface to wipe one�s nose. It fills a void in the snow sports equipment market.

Everyone who spends a lot of time outdoors in the winter knows that a runny nose is a nearly unavoidable part of the experience. The Snot Spot is the perfect solution to this very well known issue. The Snot Spot is superior to other solutions that have been introduced to address this problem. Disposable tissues in the lift line are a nice convenience, but they do add to landfill waste and over time will make your nose raw. Unlike the soft pieces of fabric sewn into some gloves, the Snot Spot provides a much larger and softer surface area to use. It is also much easier to wash and keep clean.

I bet you didn't know.............

"Maxwell's Silver Hammer" is a song by The Beatles, from the Abbey Road album, with Paul McCartney singing lead. It was written by McCartney, though the songwriting credit is Lennon/McCartney. The song is about medical student, Maxwell Edison, who uses his silver hammer to murder his girlfriend, then his teacher, and finally the judge during his murder trial. Despite the grim subject matter, the song is bouncy and upbeat, a happy song about murder, if you will. I have heard this song about 200 times and never knew the words.

Show me the bellwether state.....

The Midwestern state is still "undecided", and is still, even three days later, too close to call. Missourians have reason to take their time. They have long had the reputation of being a bellwether state, and have voted for the winning candidate in every Presidential election since 1904, barring 1956. But this time, it looks as though they have got it wrong. Mr McCain currently leads Mr Obama in the count by 49.5 per cent to 49.3 per cent, or by 1,442,673 to 1,436,184 — a margin of just 6,489 votes. Although all balloted votes have been counted, however, there are 7,085 provisional votes that have not yet been accounted for. A provisional ballot is handed out to voters when there is no time or capacity to check their voting details at the polling station, so their vote is taken in and will be counted pending checks on their identity. This verification is expected to take place some time next week.

Election Quote of the Day

This afternoon, I learnt from Valencia the election quote of the day. Valencia quoted David Sedaris who said: "Being undecided in this election is like being on a plane and having the flight attendant offer you a choice of chicken or excrement with shards of glass - and asking 'How was the chicken prepared?'"

Leaders from the left....

I learnt this morning that both Obama and McCain are left handed, as was Bill Clinton, George Bush and Reagan, and several others before him. I have always known that lefties were special but I didn't know this little tidbit.

I learnt about Res ispsa loquitur

I learned this expression a week or so ago in class. I like the way my mouth moves when I say it: (rās′ ip′sə lō′kwitoor) "Res ipsa loquitur" is a legal term which means "the thing itself speaks" but is often translated "the thing speaks for itself". It is used in actions for injury by negligence and signifies that no further details are necessary as the happening itself is accepted as proof.

Say the patient consented to an appendectomy and the surgeon removed the patient's appendix. After a week, the patient sought medical consultation due to severe stomach pains. Serial radiological studies reveal that sponges were left inside the patient's

abdomen. Res ispsa loquitur.

Mr. Magoo, the aging brain, & something else I forgot...

Yesterday on my drive to work, I slowed to allow a small white plastic bag time to cross the street. "That's it, move along little fella." (to be read in Mr. Magoo voice - which, by the way, Aug does so well) Anyway, in dawn's early light I imagined it was what? calling close to the ground: an albino ferret?! Then last night, Brian Williams (that nice young man on NBC Nightly News) tells me that the reason old people forget things is that the aging brain loses its ability to filter out irrelevant information, so the brain is overloaded and easily distracted. Q. How am I going to know when this is happening to me? I have always preferred the irrelevant information. Yes, I know the two word answer to that question: albino ferret.

Sting Ray Shuffle

I learnt that if you run 21.5 miles on Sunday you're going to have a REALLY hard time moving around the next morning, and when people ask you why you are walking really slow without picking up your feet - just tell them you're doing the sting ray shuffle.

Learnt about a new kind of book.................

Check this out at the library: The Arrival by Shaun Tan. It is a neat book. I never knew that you could tell a story this way. Did you?

I learnt yesterday................

That KFC now sells Chicken Fried Steak. Who would have thought we would live long enough to see the Colonel sell steak?

Dude... do you like see what I'm seeing dude?

So I took a bit of the liquid floaty sauce and noticed a couple of interesting things... first of all they made the prescription out for "Austin Allen", now as you know from previous blog postings I go by many different names - typically Justin, or Jason, and now I suppose Austin (which is what my father calls me every now and again as well) but my pharmacist, as if? of all people my pharmacist should certainly know me better by now but that is another matter. Then as I read more (which you can only partially see from this picture) but the label says "Take one teaspoon "by mouth" and I thought - how else would I take one teaspoon of liquid floaty sauce other than "by mouth" - but then as I thought about it more, maybe since it was actually prescribed to "Austin Allen" maybe this disclaimer was necessary?

Slip sliden away....

I learnt from my doctor yesterday that there is this liquid vicoden cough syrup that is basically, um liquid vicoden.



Slip sliding away, slip sliding away
You know the nearer your destination,
the more you slip sliding away

these are actually pretty funny

Obama roasts McCain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5SWQJWm6Tg

McCain roasts Obama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irXS4Q7mUKQ&feature=related

tehehehehe....

Useful Safety Tip

Keep your car keys by your bed at night ... so if you hear something outside your home or someone trying to get in your home - just hit the panic button on your car keys ...

Just read this somewhere... seems like a decent idea so figured I'd pass it along

Tough Love in a Tough Shed

On Saturday, I enjoyed an hour of massage to my feet and hands from a licensed reflexology therapist whose "clinic" is a tough shed located in her backyard on the west side of town. It was well worth the investment, and I will be going back for more. While I still have the pain in my heel (my presenting issue), the range of motion in my injured right shoulder is much improved as is a newly discovered soprano falsetto with which I surprised myself on Sunday afternoon. I hope such treatment will be covered in Obama's new health insurance plan.

Happy Birthday, Ribhard!

Tangled Web My Ass!

I'm finding that this whole aging thing is changing my personality. I have, for example, never considered myself to be a person who was vain about my appearance (see wardobe, waistline), instead priding myself on other virtues - including honesty. Recently, however, desperate attempts to hide signs of aging have driven me to include adobe photoshop in the routine "developing" of any pictures of me. Today I learnt that the attempts to cover my senility, however, can be even more deceptive, desperate, and time-consuming. I just realized today that I had forgotten to send a birthday card to my friend Shimmy (so named for her ability to flaunt her "blessings" in a shoulder shaking dance). Shim is the queen of birthday cards, sending not just one but several in a month-long celebration of my birthday. While this may simply be her way of covering her own forgetfullness of the actual date, I do know that Shim's birthday was in late August, and now September is nearly over. I had no other choice but to send her card as damaged, covering the envelope with "evidence" that it had traveled all around the continental U.S. (or at least to her old Colorado Springs address) before reaching her in Hawaii. "Return to Sender", corrected addresses, and a trip just now to the storage shed, ink pad in hand, to gather tire tracks from my bike are all part of my deceptive attempt to cover my forgetfullness. I am exhausted. It is indeed a bitch growing old.

Do not try this at home....

vivid, unusual, or strange dreams

I was watching tv and saw this commercial. You may have seen it with the tortise and the hare. The normal BS product. What caught my ear was one of the mentioned side effects :

"You may have trouble sleeping, vivid, unusual, or strange dreams while taking CHANTIX."

Made me wonder if this would be better (or cheaper) for me than box wine, pot or street drugs. Just a thought.

Words That Confuse

While listening to NPR today, I learnt that you are supposed to use the word "fewer" if you can count the items...and "less" if you can't count the items. So we would have "less" stress if everyone knew this. And if you went to Kathleen High School in the '60's : "fewer" than 3 people probably have ever heard of this rule.

and just for the record...those signs that say "express lane - less than 10 items" need to be taken down and changed to fewer than.

Morning Runs....

A "Public service announcement" if you will. So I was a little spooked this morning... I got up at around 5:30 am to go for my morning run…well turns out I had REALLY bad diarrhea for some reason... like Bad.. I mean I was sweating while pee (?) is coming out of my bung... anyway I was a little spooked because I’ve heard that you're not really supposed to run when you have the "green apple quick trots". So, before I ran, I logged onto “Stuff We Learnt” but was unable to find anything on this particular topic, then I tried to google but again - nada. So then I said oh well, loaded up gear and put some TP in my pocket and went on a 7 mile run . So, and the reason I’m passing this on, just so you all know it wasn't that bad. Really, just make sure to drink lots of water and you should be fine... figured I'd pass along that information in case any of you got the runs before your run and weren’t sure what to do. Now you know.

Birthday Boy

I found myself.................

The most amazing program...............

Name tags in Picasa Web Albums

If you haven't seen this...check it out on Picasa Web. You can let Picasa identify the people in your pictures by their face structure. IT IS AMAZING!

Put a name to a face
Name tags help you automatically organize and share your photos based on who's in them.
Get Started with name tags»

How it worksInstead of tagging your photos individually, you can quickly identify and label many photos with one click.
Name tags helps you automatically find similar faces in your photo collection. All you have to do is enter a name or choose from your contacts.
Once you've named the people in your photos, you can do things like sort your photo collection by person, create custom slideshows, and easily share photos with the people in your albums.

Bend Over

Did some simple math. In 2007 there were around 300 Million people in the United States. However, another query indicates that, of that 300 Million, there are really only around 117 million "tax payers". I.e. many people in the U.S.A. don't pay taxes, i.e. elderly, children, college age, prisoners, etc., anyway so 117 Million tax payers. The U.S. has recently bailed out the following:

AIG = $85 Billion
Fannie / Freddie = $100 Billion
Bear Sterns = $30 Billion

Total = $215 Billion from tax payers to these companies. That's $1,837.00 from each tax payer. Not to mention I'm scratching my head a little here... I read about Russia and Venezuela taking over private companies and absorbing them into the government - hmm...

Technically if they're using my money - shouldn't I now have $1,837.00 worth of stocks in those companies? and if the stocks go up I can make some money?

Isn't this a governement for the people by the people? Just askin'.. I wonder if there is a glitch in the matrix or the space time continuim or something.

Great Scott!

Mr. & Mrs. He Pingping

Now, if I were the worlds smallest man... I too would like to be named He Pingping

Happy Days are Here!!!

Ilearnt today via an email from my (soon to be) best friend, Parley Paulson that I have won, 600,000.00 pounds sterling AND a brand new Toyota! It sounds like all I need to do is send a little personal information and I am golden.

But I am a little suspicious of someone named Parley (and the fact that I have 'emerged winner'). This almost seems like verbiage from a non-English speaking person. Maybe I am overly skeptical.?

Has anyone else heard from Parley?

Toyota Car Promotions United Kingdom.

You have emerged Winner from this Weeks Draws.

Contact Mr.Parley PaulsonEmail:claimscenterparleypaulson@hotmail.comFor Claims Of Funds,

Provide the Following secret Pin Code TY7448500

and your Reference Number 799BV90,

(a) Your full Name:(b) Contact address:(c) Your Telephone and fax numbers:(d) Your Age:(e) Your occupation:(f) Your country of origin

Winning Details,Won: £600,000.00 Pounds Sterling and a Brand New Toyota Car

Date Of Draw: Sept 13th 2008.

PS: don't tell anyone my secret Pin Code and Reference number!!!

Now that is funny..........

I was reading the "is ribhard a cheapass" poll and actually laughed out loud and spit food (frog in the pond egg) on to the laptop this morning................ when I came to the rubber lined pants line............................ seldom does one get the opportunity to laugh out loud at 7:00 AM on a Saturday morning!!

You be the judge....

Following the revelation that Ribbhard was delivered to Chucky and Betty for the discount price of $68.60 ("prior" to the advent of discount cards I might add) - a debate had ensued regarding Ribhard's own "Cheapass" tendencies - or lack there of. Subsequently I submit to you two excerpts from his own postings. I have also added a poll to the right in hopes of settling this debate.

(Un-Edited)

Exhibit A: "...I learnt that when wine quits coming out of the box.....it ain't empty! You take the plastic liner out of the box and tilt it this way and that....and get the last 2 - 3 ounces of delicious wine."

Exhibit B: "If you go to Winn-Dixie around 7:00 PM on a Saturday and try to buy cheapass wine that is on sale for $4.99 / 1.5 ltr...and don't have your damn Winn-Dixie preferred shopping card..........they will try to make you pay the full $6.99 price.........and if you give them your phone number and they can't make your shopping card number come up...they will still try to make you pay the full price...........and when you tell them to take it off the charge card..they will have to call the manager to come over and do a code seven with his key and secret code...and you will waste about 15 minutes of your life that you will never get back. ...which is all the more reason we should all avoid shopping at any store that makes you show some sillyass card to get the cheap price..........(except King Sooper because they are close to my apartment).."

You be the judge.

What I wouldn't give...

Sure would be nice after running this morning to crawl up on the couch and take a nice long nap....

I learnt today....

While cleaning out some old papers, I came across the birth/delivery expenses for the one and only Baby Boy Miller, born 10-01-50. I call him Dad, you know him better as Ribhard...or better yet, The Answer Man.

Just comes to show that this baby boy was born cheap and continues to be cheap to this very day....can you say "box o'wine"?

Just click on the pic...that GRAND total for baby boy Miller was $68.60, with 4 days room & board!

He can't help it yall....he is what he is :)

re-learnt tonight

for all football pool players..................just because the colts are favored by 16 points and playing at home against the bears.....doesn't mean they are going to win.

Yeah but....

In "These here parts" there are a lot of blood-sucking mosquitoes. So we recently got this new *Off* "Clean Feel" brand bug repellant. Now, while I cannot dispute the fact that it "feels" clean, it does unfortunately smell like horse shit. So I've determined that you can get one (1) of the following, but not all, when it comes to bug spray:

1. "Feels" clean but smells "nasty" - or - 2. "Feels" nasty but "smells" great

So I must conclude if you want to "smell" good, and "feel" clean, then you're likely to still get bit.

A Balloon is "Saved"!

This past weekend, Victor and I visited the annual Hot Air Balloon festival. We saw many fantastic sights - but perhaps none as miraculous as this sighting of our lord Jesus Christ saving this balloon - from crashing into a trailer.

Shift sliding away............

Helped a friend move yesterday. He has 6 bikes. Two of them are coaster "Auto Shift" bikes.....they automatically shift gears with a built in electronic device. I have never heard of such a bike until yesterday. Is America great or what?

"Out of Touch" ... "Elitist?"

So I asked my mom earlier today what she was doing over this "three day weekend" and she asked me "What's a three day weekend?" and I said, "It's where you don't have to work for three days" and then she repeated, in a somewhat confused tone .. "Don't have to work for three days??" as if grasping for the answer ... then without further prompting she said "Oh! I'm sorry sweetie, I haven't worked in years" and then I could hear her yelling to my dad in the background "... he just asked us what we were doing since (apparently?) Monday is a holiday and we have what he called a Three day weekend" and then I can hear him laughing, and then she starts to laugh as well.

Bastards.... happy Friday to everyone else though! Any fun plans?