Employees must wash hand before returning to work

TILT (Things I learnt Today)

When you go in a public bathroom......and it has one of those automatic motion sensor water spouts on the sink......make sure you wave your hands under the spigot a few times to make sure the water is working before you squirt a bunch of pink hand soap on your hands.

"Poll" How will Polvo do in the marathon?

For the record - I didn't even know they gave away T-shirts (but sweet!) and the "Over 75" Division was the only one with a slot open by the time I registered.

Literacy To Go

On Thursday I learned about the "Playaway" book. Scrambling to catch an early morning flight on Monday, I accidentally left my book in FL. I had saved the last 40-50 pages of the book Oliver gave me for Christmas (Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen) to read on the plane. I decided to look for the book at all the branches of the PPLD when I got home. All were on a waiting list status with the exception of a few Spanish versions, 2 CD's, and 3 "players", one at the library in Old Colorado City. I saved a player on line. The next day I found it on the reserved shelf in a padded VCR box with a picture of the book cover on the front of the box. It was titled "PLAYAWAY: the first pre-loaded deigital audio book". No CD, no tape, magic. It hangs from your neck with the controls upside down - to be easily viewed by the "reader". New earbuds from the library ("Please do NOT return.") give it an iPod feel - except I am rocking out to text. Is America great or what?

Making Coffee at home

I learnt that when you are pouring water into a coffee maker....no matter which model, make, or size decanter you have...... water will not drip and dribble down the side of the coffee maker onto the counter.....if you pour the water very very very very slowly.

I also know for a fact that no one is going to pour the water slowly.

Playin' catch up

OK, I have gotten so much hell from a guy on this blog who goes by the name "Vic", riding my ass daily about posting...well here is my sweet ass finally catching up with yall and your very interesting ramblings. Can I catch a break for being in another country the past month? NO! Do I get chewed out for sending only ONE postcard from New Zealand (or was it Australia?) YES!....well I digress....I had to go back to the middle of December and pick up from where I last left this weird place....one of my first readings was again from that guy "Vic" who posted/bitched on 12/31/07 @ 7:57am that the slide show button was not working and could someone figure it out. I learnt today (tonight) how to post a slide show for you all to enjoy...this is all I have learned in the past hour.

21 days and Counting....

The preparation continues.... I've been training / running about 15 miles per week, and hitting the gym about 4 times a week. If I were on Gladiators I'd be called "The Machine" I've pieced together some helpful tips from various sources (web, magazines, experience, etc.,) and have posted them below for everyone's benefit.

Marathon Tips and tricks.....

• For the trip - pack proper foods / shake mixes / vegetables / fruits / starches / carbs
• clip toe nails the night before
• wear fitted boxer briefs (don't want to trip)
• don't walk or stand much the day or two before (explain this to wife before hand)
• carbs and starches - night before the race - eat last large meal before 7pm (low fat) (stay away from fat)
• drink LOTS of water
• night before the race have water next to your bed and drink during the night
• Gatorade / sports drink and Gu Energy Gel - consider taking Gel at mile 6
• Anti-chafing cream, lotion, Vaseline (KY maybe too messy)
• Band aid over each nipple (take out nipple rings)
• bring several different types of clothing to prepare for various weather possibilities (pink thong with funny purple toe socks and cowboy hat may not be best in this situation)
• Better to start too slow than too fast. Race can't be won in first 5 miles, but can be lost
• vary your pace to relax and stretch
• write name or nickname on your bib number - having several thousand total strangers cheer your name every 30 feet for 13 miles will provide a huge boost.
• Lay out all equipment and gear the night before
• Visualize running and finishing the race, the beginning, middle, and last few miles
• Relax, have fun - the hard part is over (yeah right)
• Wake up at least 2 hours before the run - eat a light but high carb breakfast (1 -2 hours before the race)
• drink sports drink before the run - use restroom one last time before the race (several glasses up to 2 hours before the run then tank up again 5-15 minutes before (avoid high fiber, crab cakes, broccoli, and beans)
• Stretch, stretch, stretch - and keep warm before the race
• Drink some coffee - but not too much (causes water loss)
• Don't drink wine, beer, or Franzia the night before

Breakfast...the most important meal of the day

Adding fruit, such as a banana or apple, is an simple way to make a good breakfast even better.

Waste not Want not

I learnt that when wine quits coming out of the box.....it ain't empty! You take the plastic liner out of the box and tilt it this way and that....and get the last 2 - 3 ounces of delicious wine.

It's the same principle as lifting the hose at the gas pump to get the last thirty cents of gas out of the hose.

I am going to have trouble sleeping now....thinking about all the good wine I have thrown away............

L-not OL

Today I learned it is possible to laugh - really hard with shoulders shaking - in total silence. I had a student in my office staring at the schedule of choices and taking her time to decide what to put in hour 3. I was not sympathetic as she wanted to drop a Biology class because it was filled with Sophomores. (She is a "senior" who has failed nearly everything for the past 2 years.) Besides, "there are kids in there I don't get along with" (How could this be?, I asked, They're Sophomores!)... "and I don't need the drama." I am gonna clock the next kid who tells me s/he "doesn't need the drama" - unless of course they just want to drop period 4 Drama class. Anyway, I'm getting bored while she stares at the schedule, so I read Valencia's retelling about Ethan's fingers - and I laugh really hard, shoulders shaking, but not out loud. Then Melanie drops Biology, explaining (in answer to my q) that her long term plans are to drop out of school, get her GED, and go to PPCC to become a nurse. Sure, it's not like you'll need Biology for nursing. I laugh again - but not out loud.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.............

I learnt........

not all butt cracks are created equal.......

Beating the storm

I learned today, that when Google weather says snow for Denver and Colorado Springs - and you have to fly back there (standby) anyway, it is best to get up before the butt crack of dawn and make your kind brother Barry drive you to the airport. Because, when you get your 2 hours back and the plane lands in Denver at 11 a.m. and you're in COS by 1, you might just get home right before the snow starts to gather. If, however, you've turned your heat down to 55 before you left, just go ahead and leave your coat on - because it's 47 in your apartment, and it will be at least 3 hours until the house is warm.

A poor man's Oreo...

I was reading an article in Saturday's Wall Street Journal entitled "The Hydrox Cookie is Dead, and Fans Won't Get Over It." Apparently in 2003, without warning no less, Kellogg Co. "killed off" the cookie. "This is a dark time in cookie history" wrote Gary Nadea of O'Fallon, MO. "Oreo had all the advertising, but those "in the know" ate Hydrox". Apparently some (self-proclaimed) "Hydrox people" refuse to believe that they're actually gone... even reporting Elvis-like sightings of the now extinct product.

http://spacefem.com/hydrox/

Gone with the wind.................

Well I hopped my fat butt up and dashed to the marina for a Sunday newspaper........and was shocked to find that Sam the Butcher had died....you remember him from "The Brady Bunch......he was 84............his
Starbucks name was listed as Allan Melvin......made me wonder if Alice was gone too?


Also I found out that Suzanne Pleshette had caught the last train for the coast too.......and much to my surprise she was the widow of Tom Poston........this may not be a shock for some of you younger whippersnappers...but this gave me pause and caused me to reflect on scenes of Tom, Bob and Suzanne from the Newhart Show.

Palindromes

I was driving across the Howard-Franklin bridge this morning. It was foggy and Barry was following me in the Honda. We were returning a rental car to Tampa International Airport. I heard a word on the Click and Clack radio program I had never heard before: Palindrome. They were talking about a "palindromic number" on an odometer. I am pleased to say I learnt something new today before noon.

Blog Food....

It seems that possibly this blog might have been drifting away from "things we learnt today" to other things like baggy britches the clown and some of my wedding photos (I haven't worn that sweater in a long time!) Anyway, after discussing with other contributors I figured it might be beneficial to create another blog to simply display art, or creative creations. Accordingly, feel free to comment on or edit or mutilate freely "Blog Food" which can be found at:

http://canoblogfood.blogspot.com/

If you cannot access this page or if there's something else I need to do to allow for contributions please let me know. It's my first blog so I may need some hand-holding.

The neighbor's mail.....

Ever get a magazine or letter in the mail that was actually addressed to your neighbor? If it’s a bill, or an advertisement it’s no problem – you just bring it over to them, explain what happened, etc. But what do you do when a dirty magazine arrives in your mailbox that was actually intended for your neighbor? Any Suggestions?

silly pants the clown

Time and Time again..................

So I have a snow day off today and a little free time to think about important stuff. I am supposed to be cleaning up the home office..... but I am thinking about that whole Space/Time Continuum thing. You know the one where Einstein (or somebody like him) talks about leaving earth and coming back and time has moved a million years on earth but the space traveler is only about a year or two older? I believe I read somewhere that whole theory of special relativity was dreamed up to cover

a loop hole to a simple problem faced by some jack- leg physicists back in the day. I have developed an equally important theory about lost time. Like that other guy's theory, there is not a whole lot of heavy duty math involved. You just need a willingness to consider ideas that most people dismiss as ridiculous without even thinking about them. (But then when it turns out to be true ........it's as plain as the nose on your face...think round world vs flat world. )

When you set the cook timer on the microwave to warm-up a cup of coffee for about 1 minute,

you always stand there watching the microwave oven like that will make it go faster. (Forgetting that a watched pot seldom boils.) It gets down to about 5 seconds left and you open the door because you want the coffee now. Well what happened to that remaining 5 seconds on the timer? Does it stay in the microwave, disappear, or go somewhere? I think the 5 seconds float around in the atmosphere, bump into other unused time globules, and join to make large blocks of free time. If we can figure out how to recapture this time, we can use it all sorts of ways.

So there you have the theory. I am putting it out there like Einstein did for anyone to build on as he or she wishes. I don't want any money, copyrights, or patents. However, I would appreciate anyone publishing or working with this theory to refer to it as VTATT. (Pronounced: Vee-Tat for Vic's Time after Time theory.)

Ah....Young Love....

I was putting my wedding files together, and I came across this great picture from Kim & Dustin's Honeymoon.
good times, good times

No pain no gain (apparently)

Last night I ran 4.3 miles straight and couldn’t walk afterwards. I learnt that even the next morning it is hard to walk… and it feels like little monsters with sharp teeth are biting my calves… and when I use the bathroom I have to sort of “fall” or “drop” onto the seat from a decent height… or my thighs will seize up.

I sort of wish I would have learnt this stuff prior to registering for a ‘non-refundable’ half-marathon next month. But the good thing is that a half-marathon is only 13.1 miles.

Today, while sitting out back with my feet propped up, I learnt that the combination of warm afternoon sun, cool breeze, screaming parrots, a good book, a pilfered, pre-mixed margarita in hand, (with salt and a slice from a 4 for a $ lime), is down right bliss.

Revisiting the Mullet

According to this evening's 'Power of 10', hosted by the venerable Drew Carey, (which, let's be honest, is where all good americans get their facts) "10% of Americans have had a Mullet Haircut". Now you know. What percent of contributors to this blog have had a mullet...?

More Press A Couple Years Later

..and later Polvo's musical talents emerged!
Here he is (pictured with Oliver) the first time he was caught shaking his moraccas in public.

How do you like them apples?

For those unfamiliar with this expression, or idiom, it is typically used to brag, or gloat, about a personal triumph. However, until moments ago I was unaware of where the phrase came from.

According to a few sources (from which I will freely plagiarize) it originated in WWI with what is called a "Toffee Apple" a kind of trench mortar bomb sometimes used to destroy tanks. Presumably, after the bomb would destroy a target the soldier would say "How do you like them apples?"

It has been used in the movie "Good Will Hunting" when Matt Damon got a girls phone number, as well as in "Rio Bravo" a John Wayne movie, when he shot a stick of dynamite out of the air. So now you know.

Nuggets in the ditch

Stopping to pick up a few nuggets as I wobble down the road of life:

1. Yesterday is a cancelled check, tomorrow a promissory note, but today is cash. Spend it wisely. (Or hell just makes sure you spend it.)

2. For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008.

Ain't America Great!

Today we learned American Gladiators is back and better than ever!

There's nothing better than spandex and trash-talk!

If you absolutely positively have nothing else to do...tune in and laugh your ass off.

Toss that Fruitcake!

Vic participated in the annual Manitou Springs Fruitcake Toss yesterday.
He battled 50 mph wind gusts but still made an impressive showing (at least in the costume category).

What it would take.............

I learned that it doesn't take much to get me to go out into the snow and drive to the store at 7:00 AM on a Sunday morning: the need (or perceived need) of a newspaper, beets, green beans, and a back-up supply of half & half


Colorado Springs, CO

30°FCloudyWind: NW at 7 mphHumidity: 80%

Today44° 22° Mon37° 11° Tue35° 14° Wed40° 15°

Three Vics walk into an outhouse....

As they say in The Village - if you've heard the joke once, you've heard it a thousand times....

Biblically Speaking...

I have always wondered if when cheese starts to grow mold – and since cheese is mold – does cheese then “Begat” more cheese? Any ideas?

It's a boy?!?

Late this afternoon (just before dinner, I believe), I saw Victor perched along the rim of the Grand Canyon. It was a breathtaking, colorful sight. I shared this vision with Victor. After dinner, I laid down on the couch to watch Scrubs. I woke just now to a crick in my neck and some frightening, animated show on comedy central. (Damn the writers' strike!) I wanted to take another peek at Victor and the Grand Canyon before heading to bed. You can imagine my shock to find him in the delivery room!

Better than Grits ....

I was watching “Survivorman” last night which, if you’re not familiar with the show, is about a guy who tries to survive in some hostile environments by living off the land. Anyway I learnt that if you find yourself wondering if it’s safe to eat a particular bug (or spider, etc.,) if the bug is walking out in the open (not hiding) and doesn’t seem to care if it’s seen (i.e. doesn’t scurry away) – it’s likely because it has some sort of toxic weapon at it’s disposal – and thus has no reason to try and hide. Another thing to watch out for is bright colors and if the bug smells or not. However I wouldn’t suggest picking up a bright colored bug to see if it smelled bad or not (Vic).

Ok group, lets start 2008 off right..............

If you start your day with a good healthy breakfast........such as sea-salted cheese grits, two eggs cooked with a half of stick of sweet butter, toasted sourdough bread, some really fat grease fried bacon and three cups of eight-o-clock coffee...you're gonna be able to deal with just about anything that comes your way today.

And hey ..........for you people that were not raised in the south..........don't forget you need to eat black-eyed peas and ham hocks today if you want to have good luck in 2008. (a little cooked cabbage and some cornbread wouldn't hurt either.)