So I have a snow day off today and a little free time to think about important stuff. I am supposed to be cleaning up the home office..... but I am thinking about that whole Space/Time Continuum thing. You know the one where Einstein (or somebody like him) talks about leaving earth and coming back and time has moved a million years on earth but the space traveler is only about a year or two older? I believe I read somewhere that whole theory of special relativity was dreamed up to covera loop hole to a simple problem faced by some jack- leg physicists back in the day. I have developed an equally important theory about lost time. Like that other guy's theory, there is not a whole lot of heavy duty math involved. You just need a willingness to consider ideas that most people dismiss as ridiculous without even thinking about them. (But then when it turns out to be true ........it's as plain as the nose on your face...think round world vs flat world. )
When you set the cook timer on the microwave to warm-up a cup of coffee for about 1 minute,
you always stand there watching the microwave oven like that will make it go faster. (Forgetting that a watched pot seldom boils.) It gets down to about 5 seconds left and you open the door because you want the coffee now. Well what happened to that remaining 5 seconds on the timer? Does it stay in the microwave, disappear, or go somewhere? I think the 5 seconds float around in the atmosphere, bump into other unused time globules, and join to make large blocks of free time. If we can figure out how to recapture this time, we can use it all sorts of ways.
So there you have the theory. I am putting it out there like Einstein did for anyone to build on as he or she wishes. I don't want any money, copyrights, or patents. However, I would appreciate anyone publishing or working with this theory to refer to it as VTATT. (Pronounced: Vee-Tat for Vic's Time after Time theory.)
6 comments:
I think I got a contact high just reading that. Now I'm at work all paranoid... I hope my boss doesn't want to talk to me.
I wonder if Aliens save up all that time and when they abduct you they can use to offset it? that whole "lost time" thing?
I'm no accountant, but for example, would they debit 2 hours of "Vic's life" and credit "earned microwave time"?
That's why I recommend always hitting the "clear/cancel" button if you leave some time on there (just to be safe).
I'm not really sure about the VTATT as it stands in the big picture, but I would like to confess that I have previously stolen time from a microwave oven. When I worked at the little school in FloriDUH, there was a microwave whose mysterious instructions eluded me. (Strange, I know, as I am not typically techno challenged and even have all of the clocks set on my VCR/CD players.) I could not set this thing with any combination of button pushing - so what I would do to cook my delicious frozen entrees or warm my coffee is steal whatever minutes or seconds were left on the clock (left no doubt by someone who could not wait for their coffee - or popcorn).
The hallways in the office area of that school were always filled with the foul stench of burnt popcorn. This is when I learned 2 things:
1.smell is the sense most likely to evoke anger in some people - ok me
and
B. "asscorn" (a term invented by Jim, the head custodian, and I) is a great name for burned popcorn. used in a sentence:
(Jim walks into the main office sniffing the air:) "Jesus, who cooked asscorn in here?"
Ok, this kind of wanders away from the point of the original post, but I really didn't grasp the essence of it - and aren't most enjoyable tales just a bit of a wander?
Stay away from the brown acid. The brown acid is bad.
I thought it was yellow acid? or was that yellow snow? Always get those confused.
I thought it was the grape flavored kool-aid down in Jonestown.........
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