5 myths about sex after age 50

I was doing some reading and wanted to pass this along.

1. Myth #1: If you’re having sex with someone, you can assume it’s serious
2. Myth #2: You’re too old to worry about STDs
3. Myth #3: Your aging body is no longer as attractive as it once was
4. Myth #4: Sex should feel the same as it did when you were younger
5. Myth #5: By this point, you know what you like—and should stick to it

Source: http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=7501&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&GT1=10582

Can honestly say I didn't know that stuff before today... so I figured it'd go great in this blog.

You know........ when I saw that picture of Rob (or Polvo?) and the bear "grinding" .....it made me think of an old 70's movie called "Deliverance"..........the phrase 'squeal like a pig' came to my mind for some reason.

PS: If any of you haven't seen the movie, please rent it (for $1 max) and send me the receipt. I will gladly reimburse you .....if you feel it wasn't worth the $1.

PSS: Polvo - Do not send any whited-out xerox copy receipts.

One of you smarter people........

Figure out how to make the blog open with the new items (that have been added) shown first......can someone do that?

Brussels Sprout

Did yall ever wonder how the brussel(s) sprout grows?

I have never wondered, it has never entered my mind a single time in my 38 yrs of existence.

But when Aunt Kay comes into the house after visiting the farmers market, and is carrying a beautiful plant arrangement...you look closer and discover that it is not a plant but a sprout of brussels...you then say to yourself...AHHH, this is Stuff We Learned Today!

And a little more info from the wonderful world of Wikipedia:

The Brussels (or brussels or brussel) sprout (Brassica oleracea Gemmifera Group) is a cultivar group of Wild Cabbage cultivated for its small (typically 2.5-4 cm diameter) leafy green heads, which resemble miniature cabbages. The name stems from the original place of cultivation, not because of the vegetable's popularity in Brussels.

The Grinding

When you marry a man with a sense of humor and an overall zest for life...always remember that he will, if given the chance "grind up" on every damn thing he sees; even when you are simply trying to examine rocks in the mountains for your geology class....he will also probably grind up on the rocks.

Lethologica

Just learned that the term "Lethologica" is the inability to remember a word or put your finger on the right word. Also referred to as a Brain Fart.

Ironically, there's a very good chance I won't remember this word either.

Location, location, location

Last week, I learned that in California, the same 2 BR 2 BA bungalow that costs a ridiculous $300,000 in Gulfport (ok, maybe now $200K since the crash) costs $1,000,099 in Santa Barbara. (But, as a 3 night rental, the price was very fair - and the setting fabulous!)

Drunk Monkey

If you leave town for a week, it's a good idea to clean your fridge first of any perishable food items, leaving, perhaps, little more than a cheap box of wine. (...so that, when you return, you don't have to make an emergency stop at the local walmart - see previous blogs) I learned, however, that, if your children have the key to your apartment, you may come home to find that your fridge contains both that cheap box of wine AND a talking gorilla head.

Deap Suftf We Laenred Tdoay

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aucacllty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Talkin Turkey

The National Geographic magazine said there are more pounds of turkey eaten per person (POT/PP) in Israel than the United States. They surmised this was due to the Israelites not being that big on pork, yet wanting a white meat in their diet.

This is very interesting, as they don't even do that Thanksgiving thing over there.

The U.S. was actually third in the world for turkey consumption.

Chili words of wisdom

I was going to make homemade chili yesterday and got lazy. So I had a can of store bought chilli in the cabinet. I looked at the label and the chilli really looked great. But once I heated it up and ate it......it was not that good. I mentioned this to Joan in an email and she replied with some words of wisdom:

"that is something learned...food isn't as good as the label"

Speaking of English

I learned that now more people speak English as a second language than as a first language.

Today I learned.....

...that if you're 53 year old Mother and her hippie, merlot sippin', floppy hat wearin', bike ridin', boiled peanut eatin' (etc) husband start a blog about all the crazy shit they learn everyday you damn well better join the blog......or they will hound your ass like a Primerica sales rep.

Also organic potatoes are rather tiny.....big up to Brooklyn.

Do you HAB-ANA patience?

I learned that, if you go to Habana's and the service is really slow - cos they gave your food to someone else, it might be better to just be patient - instead of storming out like glenn did last month. Because you might just get all 5 dinners free and just leave a generous* tip that you split with Aug. *onaccounta you feel bad cos the waiter has sweat all over his face when he tells you that someone downstairs is eating your dinner.

Psychosomatic

If you're walking to your car in the morning to go to work, and you walk through (or into) a spider web.. I learned that..

1. Your neighbor who is staring at you while you frantically pull the web off of you cannot actually see the web from his vantage point... and while you're not really obligated to explain why your fighting with an invisible super hero (my explanation), you might want to in order to head off any neighborhood gossip.

and...

2. If you notice that while driving to work that you still had traces of said 'web' in your hair .. that you'll likely spend the rest of the day feeling spiders crawling on you.

For some of you, after reading this - you might also start to feel the same thing right now - and for that I'm sorry, but it could actually be a spider so it wouldn't hurt to check?

I just learned...

That I can edit other people's entries? unusual... I've edited P-lous previous post below. Didn't know you could do that.

To Summarize?

If you ever find yourself, with a mullet, riding a bicycle, humming Johnny Cash lyrics, at 1:30 AM, in Gulfport, looking for some cheap tail (because your flight got in late of course) and you happen to hear automatic gun fire (which is not un-likely given the aforementioned components), then it would be wise to carry your grocery-store-issued discount card, and by doing so you would be able to save $2 on said tail, had, of course, you gotten there a couple hours earlier?

Any port in a storm

And really, of course, the only reason you would go to WalMart, the evil giant, at 1:00 a.m. is because your flight just landed at 11:10 p.m., and no other store is open. And you need to stock your house with the necessities for the morning: bread, milk, wine.... Polvo is my favorite relative.

Whine wine Whine

Things I learned in the past two days:

1. If you go to the Walmart Superstore in Gulfport Florida at 1:15 AM on Saturday morning....they will not sell you wine ....because they don't sell wine after midnight...even though they advertise OPEN 24 HOURS....so you can forget about buying 1.5 yellow tail for the great price of $10.50.

2. If you go to Winn-Dixie around 7:00 PM on a Saturday and try to buy cheapass wine that is on sale for $4.99 / 1.5 ltr...and don't have your damn Winn-Dixie preferred shopping card..........they will try to make you pay the full $6.99 price.........and if you give them your phone number and they can't make your shopping card number come up...they will still try to make you pay the full price...........and when you tell them to take it off the charge card..they will have to call the manager to come over and do a code seven with his key and secret code...and you will waste about 15 minutes of your life that you will never get back. ...which is all the more reason we should all avoid shopping at any store that makes you show some sillyass card to get the cheap price..........(except King Sooper because they are close to my apartment)

Yabba Dabba Do!

We visited Aug and Jill last night on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary! To quote Annie, "Big up to Brooklyn!" Anyway, in the course of the evening, Jill produced this recent picture. When Aug showed up to work on Halloween sans costume, one of his crew provided this outfit for him. Though it might have had more caveman appeal if he'd lost the shirt, apron, and nametag, Aug felt the need to remain professional - and hygienic - in the kitchen. With all that dark hair, I'm seeing the resemblance to childhood memories of Nan....

gratefully in reno..........

oh and on that note, what the hell...

"I lit out from RENO, I was trailed by twenty hounds
Didn't get to sleep last night 'till the morning came around

Set out runnin' but I take my time
A friend of the Devil is a friend of mine
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight..."

Safety First....

today jay was riding his mountain bike 'peacefully on a lovely trail', when he heard automatic weapon gunfire from multiple directions. He quickly reviewed safety lessons he'd learned as a child, and decided that 'stop, drop, and roll' would not be helpful in this situation. He then quickly reviewed things he'd learned on this blog, and found them insufficient as well.

In the immortal words of Johnny Cash......

"...When I was just a baby my mama told me. Son,
Always be a good boy, don't ever play with guns.
But I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die
When I hear that whistle blowing, I hang my head and cry....."

There ya have it.............

For butter or for worse

I got a note from Polvo that explained he has been very sick and he perfectly illustrated the green stuff you cough up when sick with a cold or pneumonia.....something we have all coughed up and never adequately named........................he called it "Lung butter" ..... Now all this time I have know that his mom and sister were great illustrators...but now I will have to put polvo in the same category when it comes to illustrating with words.


Vencedor


PS I dare anyone of yall to butter a piece of toast tomorrow (or the rest of your life) and not remember the phrase: lung butter.

Step up to the plate.

Victor and I have just returned from the multi-cultural show at his school, Rampart (the school formerly known as Pat's). We learned that we don't spend nearly as much time as we should practicing our step dancing (the hood, not the river variety). In any event, we have vowed to give more effort to our stepping and slapping, so prepare to be wowed at some point in the not-so-distant future. Anyone care to step up to a step off competition?

Posting Posting 1 - 2 - 3

And listen if any of you people want to invite someone to this blog.....just let me know and I will set you up with Administrator rights....the only requirement is the new people need to be a little whacky..like the rest of us.

Wine Wine Wine

If you leave a glass of wine on the counter top while reaching to open the cabinet above it....... and one piece of the Magic Bullet falls off the cabinet shelf and on to the glass...it will break the glass of wine, splatter the wine all over the place and make a mess in the kitchen. (This is one more reason to continue to buy box wine which is non breakable if left in the original 5 liter box.)


PS: Even when you vaccuum and sweep there will be little bitty pieces of glass on the floor waiting for you to walk barefoot on it at some time in the future.

biggest little mullet in the world.

what jay learned this week:

no matter where where you go to get a haircut in reno, nor how much you pay for said haircut, you will still end up with a mullet.

Poll

1. It is said that 27% of people don't believe that we actually landed on the moon. Your opinion?

a) Did
b) Didn't
c) Dunno
d) Debatable

2. Side note, it is also said that 24% of statistics are made up on the spot.

We did not know that....

Todd was doing a little reading today....and by little, I mean the package size...and the package read : TROJAN-mint tingle-brand latex condoms lubricated- EXP 01-2008

Did yall know that condoms have an expiration date?

Plan Ahead, my friend.

Today I learned about Vic's blog.

You can't always count on a gracious Mexican national to invite you to pitch your tent on the patch of earth next to his. Don't count on your karma kickin' in like mine did - make camping reservations ahead of time, and plan ahead, my friend!

A picture is worth 1,000 calories.

This is Victor's breakfast -as mentioned in my comment on the previous blog. (doing our part to make the earth weigh more)

breakfast Question statistic

Breakfast...

If I had eggs I could make a nice ham and egg omlet... if I had ham.

Question...
If 10,000 years ago there was say only 10,000 people on earth, and now there are around 6 billion people on earth - does the earth weigh more now then it did then?

Statistic...
Since I've done some traveling lately I've learned some interesting things. For example, while in Panama last month I learned that in Central America - 3 out of 4 people now make up 75% of the population there. I think the same might hold true for Brazil as well, but not sure.

Hind leg theory

It's been said that if you catch a bunch of crabs you can put them in a bucket and you don't have to put a lid on it - and they won't get out. They won't get out because as one crabs tries to crawl out - another will try to get out as well but end up pulling down the first crab back into the bucket in the process. Thus the more they try to leave, the more they end up pulling each other back in.

Seems there are many applications of this theory in real life as well.

Smallest Radio?

Heard on NPR Sunday that Physicists at University of California, Berkley have created a radio that is one- ten-thousandth the side of a human hair... as in stack up 10,000 of them and they'd be as wide as a human hair. No joke. Right now it is a receiver only, but it could be tweaked to be a transmitter as well. It is essentially the size of DNA and thus you could easily inject a "radio" into one of your individual blood cells. Or a transmitter. Maybe you already have some inside you now? Like any other technology it raises some big brother concerns but pretty amazing nonetheless. Need a high powered microscope to even see the thing - but it works - you can even hear it play at ....

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=15868800

What I learned on Sunday

While watching a zillion dollar real estate show on a slow Sunday evening, i learned that a rich man's 'summer kitchen' is a poor man's rusted Weber grill with aluminum lawn chairs.

the taste of it all

I heard on NPR today that there were just 4 types of tastes identified for a couple of thousand years : sweet, sour, salty and bitter. Then this guy in France came up with a recipe for cooking some mixture of stuff for 24 hours and it wasn't any of those tastes...he made some sauce to put on meat.....this apparently was in the 1800's at some fancy restaurant..so now we have 5 different types of tastes.........Go listen to NPR and it will tell you the name of that 5Th taste.

Moby Dickies

Today I learned that the jeans I take into the JC Penney dressing room can be the same size and brand as the ones I wore into the store - and still be difficult to zip! I also think that the number posted as the size looks silly followed by the word "Petite". What's wrong with the word "short"?

I am the egg man

If you take a boiled egg to work, start to eat it at lunch, and determine that it would be better to warm it up in the microwave: Don't.

Even if you crack the shell and think it will be ok to warm it for 30 seconds: Dont.

It will explode all over the microwave and take you 15 minutes to clean the inside while all of your coworkers stand around making smartass comments.

What I learned today...

It really hit me today that most people do not think about the "next step"...what is going to happen when "I" do this action or say a certain thing. No one cares about the repercussions...most people are just doing their time...and this saddens me. I see it in every level of our society: the minimum wage worker to hospital therapists and all the way up to CEO's. Who are we to blame? Are the parents teaching this to their child? Do managers just let everything slide? Has every thing become all about ME,ME,ME and must have it NOW,NOW,NOW? Are video games to blame? It's all fast action, death is no big deal...we get everything we want almost instantly....I am definitely in a 'glass half full' kinda funk today....

But I have also learned a few sayings (from a great man) that help me along this road, and I just need to remember to say them more and more to myself-esp. like today:

We do the best we can with what we got, and go from there.

Do not concentrate on how far we fall but how well we rebound.

String Cheese

I found out last Sunday that string cheese actually can be pulled apart in string looking sections. I never knew that before.

Computer Stuff

Something I learned today...did you know that you can use the Ctrl+A (key at the same time) and that will highlight the entire text for you to then use Ctrl + C to copy the text and then Ctrl+V keys to paste the highlighted text.
Also the coolest feature that I use is Ctrl+F to find an exact word or number in a text. Of course, everyone knows Ctrl+P to see the print page.
Those of you a little more advanced may know this, I use it sometimes: use the Windows key +E (the one with the picture of windows) , and this will bring up an exporer window of your computer system -- not internet explorer!--