More useful survival tips

Last night while watching Man vs. Wild – I learnt that if you’re lost in a desert somewhere and you’ve already scalped a snake – that you can tie a knot around one end of the “snake tube” if you will, and then piss in it and then seal off the other end with another knot. Then if you get really thirsty, you can un-tie one end of your snake-skin-piss-water-balloon thing and drink your own piss.

Now I know why people carry around water bottles – to prevent this type of situation becoming a reality.

“Why are you always carrying around a bottle of water?”
“Cause, imagine if I didn’t have water and I had to piss inside of a snake’s skin and drink it”
“oh, Good point”

I did also learnt that you don’t just want to eat snow if you are thirsty and stranded in a snowy area … apparently eating snow can eventually burn the inside of your mouth, causing sores, ulcers, etc., so it is best to stuff the snow into something like a water bottle, or a snake tube – so that it can melt – and then you can drink it safely.

Not to mention - as I read my own posting again - I would also conclude that you could piss in the snow, and then take the yellow snow and put it in a snake tube and then drink it. Now while this might be considered "Semantics" - it does sorta debunk the age old warning against yellow snow. Maybe it wasn't the fact that it was yellow - rather the fact that eating snow in general wasn't your best bet - Anyway I will do some more research and let you know.

I was standin in line.................

So I was standing in line at the jumbo mumbo gumbo festival in Manitou Springs yesterday. Waiting to get my tickets to sample 6 different types of

jambalaya at the cook off. (writing this reminds me of the Rollin stone song line "I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy....And man, did he look pretty ill".)........ Anyway, the woman behind us started talking about foods to eat. We covered boiled peanuts, chicken livers, and broccoli. She said she was an Omnivore. I guess I missed school that day because the word did not register with me...or perhaps the junction across which my nerve impulses pass from an axon terminal to a neuron, muscle cell or gland cell neuron is not working as well as it once did. But anyway, I found out and wrote it down in my book of knowledge: Omnivore means to eat both vegetables and meat. from Latin: omne all, everything; vorare to devour. I had two years of Latin in high school and apparently retained little. I do rember: Britania est insula. So all in all it was a great day at the festival.

Stuff I learnt about hands...........

A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthystudy, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexualactivity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Never too old to learn........

I saw Steph the other day and she gave me a bag of "prunes". I ate them and remembered that I love prunes but I haven't bought any in years. So, a few days later, while shopping at the local King Sooper I eased down the aisle to buy some. I saw prunes and plums. The prunes were $4.95 a bag (2 oz.) and the plums were $2.99 a bag (10 oz.). Since I am taking an Economics class this semester, I immediately pulled out my trusty Virgin Mobile pimp phone, mashed the correct combination of keys to get me to TOOLS, went down to CALCULATOR, and determined my best buy, from strictly a monetary view was the plums. A few days later, while Skyping with Steph, I mentioned the good deal I got on plums vs. prunes. And that they tasted just as good. She advised me that plums are the same as prunes. I never knew that and frankly was skeptical. So of course I wikopediaed her ass and found out: Dried Plums as they're called in the U.S. and Prunes, as they're still known in the rest of the world are the same thing. (And a bonus tidbit: California produces more dried plums/prunes than the rest of the world combined...which reminded me of the "fact" that Polk County Florida grows more oranges than all of California..which may have been true back in the day, but I seriously doubt now). Anyway, this proves we are never too old to learn some very important stuff.

bear got nothing on me

D-unit said I should catch a critter like that bear guy . I have been experimenting with different methods of disabling a critter effectively...seems I may be able to choke a chicken, if I get more practice.

Good Clean Fun

This weekend we flew to Seattle then went to visit our friend Faye at her new BAH (Big Ass House) that she built. (Yea, she was the general contractor!) Anyway, I learned that if you build a shower with enough shower heads (8 to be exact), Ribhard will never want to leave "water world". (You're welcome, D-Unit. I know you were just about to comment thanking me for not posting a picture of Ribhard in the shower.)

"Nonono, Don't put that in your vent...."

Today I learnt again that, while drugs can be fun(ny), they can also be very frightening. If you have not already done so, you must watch a 2 minute (1:59) video on youtube called "david after dentist" - accept no substitutes; ignore the 'remix' and other sequels until you've watched the original. THEN watch "chad after dentist" to truly understand what a universal experience this can be. :)

In the name of survival...

Salt is cheap

When avocados are a ridiculous $1.99 each and bananas are 69 cents a pound and damn chicken wings are getting up to almost $3.00 a pound..it is nice to see salt is still cheap. 49 cents a box when I bought some the other day. (I had to use a whole carton to make boil peanuts as you recall)...my only question is why is it sold in 26 oz boxes?

PS ever notice that we all have salt and baking powder old as our kids in the pantry?