Tangled Web My Ass!

I'm finding that this whole aging thing is changing my personality. I have, for example, never considered myself to be a person who was vain about my appearance (see wardobe, waistline), instead priding myself on other virtues - including honesty. Recently, however, desperate attempts to hide signs of aging have driven me to include adobe photoshop in the routine "developing" of any pictures of me. Today I learnt that the attempts to cover my senility, however, can be even more deceptive, desperate, and time-consuming. I just realized today that I had forgotten to send a birthday card to my friend Shimmy (so named for her ability to flaunt her "blessings" in a shoulder shaking dance). Shim is the queen of birthday cards, sending not just one but several in a month-long celebration of my birthday. While this may simply be her way of covering her own forgetfullness of the actual date, I do know that Shim's birthday was in late August, and now September is nearly over. I had no other choice but to send her card as damaged, covering the envelope with "evidence" that it had traveled all around the continental U.S. (or at least to her old Colorado Springs address) before reaching her in Hawaii. "Return to Sender", corrected addresses, and a trip just now to the storage shed, ink pad in hand, to gather tire tracks from my bike are all part of my deceptive attempt to cover my forgetfullness. I am exhausted. It is indeed a bitch growing old.

Do not try this at home....

vivid, unusual, or strange dreams

I was watching tv and saw this commercial. You may have seen it with the tortise and the hare. The normal BS product. What caught my ear was one of the mentioned side effects :

"You may have trouble sleeping, vivid, unusual, or strange dreams while taking CHANTIX."

Made me wonder if this would be better (or cheaper) for me than box wine, pot or street drugs. Just a thought.

Words That Confuse

While listening to NPR today, I learnt that you are supposed to use the word "fewer" if you can count the items...and "less" if you can't count the items. So we would have "less" stress if everyone knew this. And if you went to Kathleen High School in the '60's : "fewer" than 3 people probably have ever heard of this rule.

and just for the record...those signs that say "express lane - less than 10 items" need to be taken down and changed to fewer than.

Morning Runs....

A "Public service announcement" if you will. So I was a little spooked this morning... I got up at around 5:30 am to go for my morning run…well turns out I had REALLY bad diarrhea for some reason... like Bad.. I mean I was sweating while pee (?) is coming out of my bung... anyway I was a little spooked because I’ve heard that you're not really supposed to run when you have the "green apple quick trots". So, before I ran, I logged onto “Stuff We Learnt” but was unable to find anything on this particular topic, then I tried to google but again - nada. So then I said oh well, loaded up gear and put some TP in my pocket and went on a 7 mile run . So, and the reason I’m passing this on, just so you all know it wasn't that bad. Really, just make sure to drink lots of water and you should be fine... figured I'd pass along that information in case any of you got the runs before your run and weren’t sure what to do. Now you know.

Birthday Boy

I found myself.................

The most amazing program...............

Name tags in Picasa Web Albums

If you haven't seen this...check it out on Picasa Web. You can let Picasa identify the people in your pictures by their face structure. IT IS AMAZING!

Put a name to a face
Name tags help you automatically organize and share your photos based on who's in them.
Get Started with name tags»

How it worksInstead of tagging your photos individually, you can quickly identify and label many photos with one click.
Name tags helps you automatically find similar faces in your photo collection. All you have to do is enter a name or choose from your contacts.
Once you've named the people in your photos, you can do things like sort your photo collection by person, create custom slideshows, and easily share photos with the people in your albums.

Bend Over

Did some simple math. In 2007 there were around 300 Million people in the United States. However, another query indicates that, of that 300 Million, there are really only around 117 million "tax payers". I.e. many people in the U.S.A. don't pay taxes, i.e. elderly, children, college age, prisoners, etc., anyway so 117 Million tax payers. The U.S. has recently bailed out the following:

AIG = $85 Billion
Fannie / Freddie = $100 Billion
Bear Sterns = $30 Billion

Total = $215 Billion from tax payers to these companies. That's $1,837.00 from each tax payer. Not to mention I'm scratching my head a little here... I read about Russia and Venezuela taking over private companies and absorbing them into the government - hmm...

Technically if they're using my money - shouldn't I now have $1,837.00 worth of stocks in those companies? and if the stocks go up I can make some money?

Isn't this a governement for the people by the people? Just askin'.. I wonder if there is a glitch in the matrix or the space time continuim or something.

Great Scott!

Mr. & Mrs. He Pingping

Now, if I were the worlds smallest man... I too would like to be named He Pingping

Happy Days are Here!!!

Ilearnt today via an email from my (soon to be) best friend, Parley Paulson that I have won, 600,000.00 pounds sterling AND a brand new Toyota! It sounds like all I need to do is send a little personal information and I am golden.

But I am a little suspicious of someone named Parley (and the fact that I have 'emerged winner'). This almost seems like verbiage from a non-English speaking person. Maybe I am overly skeptical.?

Has anyone else heard from Parley?

Toyota Car Promotions United Kingdom.

You have emerged Winner from this Weeks Draws.

Contact Mr.Parley PaulsonEmail:claimscenterparleypaulson@hotmail.comFor Claims Of Funds,

Provide the Following secret Pin Code TY7448500

and your Reference Number 799BV90,

(a) Your full Name:(b) Contact address:(c) Your Telephone and fax numbers:(d) Your Age:(e) Your occupation:(f) Your country of origin

Winning Details,Won: £600,000.00 Pounds Sterling and a Brand New Toyota Car

Date Of Draw: Sept 13th 2008.

PS: don't tell anyone my secret Pin Code and Reference number!!!

Now that is funny..........

I was reading the "is ribhard a cheapass" poll and actually laughed out loud and spit food (frog in the pond egg) on to the laptop this morning................ when I came to the rubber lined pants line............................ seldom does one get the opportunity to laugh out loud at 7:00 AM on a Saturday morning!!

You be the judge....

Following the revelation that Ribbhard was delivered to Chucky and Betty for the discount price of $68.60 ("prior" to the advent of discount cards I might add) - a debate had ensued regarding Ribhard's own "Cheapass" tendencies - or lack there of. Subsequently I submit to you two excerpts from his own postings. I have also added a poll to the right in hopes of settling this debate.

(Un-Edited)

Exhibit A: "...I learnt that when wine quits coming out of the box.....it ain't empty! You take the plastic liner out of the box and tilt it this way and that....and get the last 2 - 3 ounces of delicious wine."

Exhibit B: "If you go to Winn-Dixie around 7:00 PM on a Saturday and try to buy cheapass wine that is on sale for $4.99 / 1.5 ltr...and don't have your damn Winn-Dixie preferred shopping card..........they will try to make you pay the full $6.99 price.........and if you give them your phone number and they can't make your shopping card number come up...they will still try to make you pay the full price...........and when you tell them to take it off the charge card..they will have to call the manager to come over and do a code seven with his key and secret code...and you will waste about 15 minutes of your life that you will never get back. ...which is all the more reason we should all avoid shopping at any store that makes you show some sillyass card to get the cheap price..........(except King Sooper because they are close to my apartment).."

You be the judge.

What I wouldn't give...

Sure would be nice after running this morning to crawl up on the couch and take a nice long nap....

I learnt today....

While cleaning out some old papers, I came across the birth/delivery expenses for the one and only Baby Boy Miller, born 10-01-50. I call him Dad, you know him better as Ribhard...or better yet, The Answer Man.

Just comes to show that this baby boy was born cheap and continues to be cheap to this very day....can you say "box o'wine"?

Just click on the pic...that GRAND total for baby boy Miller was $68.60, with 4 days room & board!

He can't help it yall....he is what he is :)

re-learnt tonight

for all football pool players..................just because the colts are favored by 16 points and playing at home against the bears.....doesn't mean they are going to win.

Yeah but....

In "These here parts" there are a lot of blood-sucking mosquitoes. So we recently got this new *Off* "Clean Feel" brand bug repellant. Now, while I cannot dispute the fact that it "feels" clean, it does unfortunately smell like horse shit. So I've determined that you can get one (1) of the following, but not all, when it comes to bug spray:

1. "Feels" clean but smells "nasty" - or - 2. "Feels" nasty but "smells" great

So I must conclude if you want to "smell" good, and "feel" clean, then you're likely to still get bit.

A Balloon is "Saved"!

This past weekend, Victor and I visited the annual Hot Air Balloon festival. We saw many fantastic sights - but perhaps none as miraculous as this sighting of our lord Jesus Christ saving this balloon - from crashing into a trailer.