Slip slidin' away........................

Slide show cannot be loaded.....................I get this message when I try the slide show that someone loaded on the blog...can somebody fix it so we can see it?

Save the Date: August 9, 2008

On Sunday Oliver and Maggie spent one morning of their Christmas vacation in a photo shoot at the Garden of the Gods. You can see their engagement photos at http://www.caytonphotography.com/blog/. They came out nice. (Turn up the volume; there is music.) They will get married in Colorado Springs on August 9th. The wedding list is approximately 150 guests; of this number, Oliver has listed 25 guests: the readers of this blog and a few more. So I'm mentioning it now with hopes you can make it. In any event, enjoy these pictures if you have a minute.

Christmas at the Beach

Yesterday Jill learned that one doesn't always need snow to make a "snow man".

E=mc + poptart?

Interesting blog that you laid this morning; however, I believe that you are “borrowing” from the first law of thermodynamics and mixing it with diffusion concepts (Fick’s law). The problems with your thesis begin in the beginning. If I recall correctly, thermodynamics can only be applied to energy, and diffusion is primarily a concentration-driven process confined to gasses and liquids. While you apparently identified a clear transfer of a mix of these ideas to solids, solids act completely differently than energy, liquids and gasses – yes I know that 102% of the human body is a combination of liquids and gasses, but you are still a solid. To prove this point it is easy to see that the water bed would never have been invented if we were not solids.

Despite these errors and the fact that your logic is questionable at best, you do deserve props for trying to develop a new scientific law as you pondered your pop tart. Victor, the scientific community needs more bright minds working creatively on these incredibly important questions to ensure that our modern society continues to not only function but flourish. Therefore I applaud your efforts and will contribute toward your endeavors by pledging $2 toward a box of wine (does that cover an entire box?) for you.

Thinner

I have noticed everything is getting thinner these days: CD discs and covers, saran wrap, lawn chairs, plastic yard flamingos, newspapers, book pages, eggnog, want ad listings, postage stamps, even the aluminum foil on breakfast pop tarts ('toaster pastries' as Publix now labels the generic store brand) ......nothing is as thick as it use to be. Everything is getting thinner.

In this day of shrinkage and smaller-is-better mind sets, it is comforting to me, that I have been able to maintain my physical space ( and more ) . I have successfully bucked the trend.....I take up more three dimensional space than I ever have in my life. I think it is all part of the law of nature or something I heard about "nature hates a vacuum" (0r maybe it was nature hates the sound of a vacuum cleaner?........I am reaching back to the 60's and some of those facts I snagged along the way are a little fuzzy) Now, if memory serves me correctly, the law goes like this: "If there is less space taken up by something one then something two will ease in and occupy that space which something one gave up......I am pretty sure that is the way it was stated. Anyway, I am doing my part as something two.

The Village People Enjoy Sunset....

...and share observations of the day.

Gulf (W)Hores Again!

J & B have returned to the Gulf side from their Atlantic Beach temporary home of 3 1/2 years!

The village rejoices!

More Learnin and Confirmin December 2007

I comfirmed that if you eat several deviled eggs, some pieces of ham, pork and beef lasagna, a few vegetable side dishes like Brussel sprouts, green beans, rutabaga, baked beans, then a little bread, cookies, fudge, sweet tea, and a glass or two of wine....and a glass of egg nog just because it's there.......at Christmas dinner....your tummy will probably not feel so good when you ride your bike down to the point to watch the sunset at about 5:42 PM that evening with the allens and lucky. and then if you swing by B & J's house and sit on the back porch and drink more wine it will not make your stomach feel any better.

I also learned that the University of Florida is going to allow alumni to spend eternity on campus........the gator nation seems to feel the urge to have an on-campus mausoleum for a chosen few..........I think this is an excellent way to make a buck....and it will be the first university in Florida to allow it....I hear that some other states have already beat them to the punch...notre damn and west by god Virginia......is america great or what?

and last but not least, the great state of Florida has an on-line contest to pick a different state song. For those of you that have forgotten, the current state song is what we always called "way down upon the Swanee river".....you can look up the song and sing along on the web if you really want to ...but the song chorus goes like this:

"All de world am sad and dreary,Eb-rywhere I roam;Oh, darkeys, how my heart grows weary,Far from de old folks at home!

and trust me there are more lyrics that seem a lot worse in this little ditty...............

this song was given to us by Stephen C. Foster, (or maybe Florida bought it?....something for polvo to research) ..the song is actually "The Swanee River (Old Folks at Home)" penned in 1851. Florida made it the state song in the 30's..........I am just wondering why it took Florida so long to figure out this song might be mildly offensive to some of the residents (or maybe a few billion other educated people in the western hemisphere)?

Long tall glasses of wine

The Allens came over tonight....i had my best yellow tail wine on display......Jill opted for some...i could not find a wine glass and assumed they were all in Colorado........so I gave her a plastic cup...........boan came over later.....i offered her some wine...she said OK...and walked directly to the cabinet that had the wine glasses in it...high above the stove....a place I never looked............i am getting very forgetful..............

The cost of warm

2 "non-rev" Southwest standby tickets to Tampa (from snowy Denver) ... $50
late night rental car at Orlando, the second choice destination ... $67
waking up in Gulfport with a breeze blowing in open windows ... priceless

Can I get you another glass of wine Honey?

I learned that if it's the Friday before Christmas and you've been given all this free wine from friends and coworkers (That you don't want to go bad of course) - and so you decide to split a bottle (or two) with your wife as you're wrapping presents and afterwards think it might be nice to watch the "The Bourne Ultimatum" - in front of a 55" big screen with surround sound -it's maybe "not" a good idea. The movie and it's "mind numbing action" and editing, might start to mess with your internal "gyroscope" if you will.

Sunday morning...go for a ride

I learned today, that if you get up and walk across the parking lot to the marina for a st. pete times sunday paper and the st. pete time's newspaper box vending machine is empty.....and you then head on down the street still on foot and in your slippers to the corner of 49th street and 29th avenue...and that newspaper box is empty too ....and you walk back home empty handed and dejected and then get in the car and drive to the Winn-Dixie to buy a st. pete times sunday paper...and all they have is the saturday paper...and you get so irritated at this point that you drive over to the mcdonald and see a vending machine with st. pete times newspapers in it.....and you put your 4 quarters in (twice) and the machine will not open...and you finally say what the hell and move over to a Tampa Tribune vending machine...and buy one...and come home to sit down and read the paper and notice it is the saturday edition...and you say !@$%^&*&^%$*&^%! why can't I get a sunday paper....and my wife says to me "cause it's Saturday, dumbass"

Turkey's Gone Wild

Myth V. Fact: As we know there is a chemical in turkey called tryptophan that is known to cause drowsiness. But turkey doesn't contain any more of it than does chicken or beef. This Myth is fueled by the fact that turkey is often eaten with a colossal holiday meal, often accompanied by alcohol — both things that will make you sleepy.

Chair Dancing

This is a test to see what happens with video on the blog site. As you can see, I do not have good subject matter to work with at this time.
(I think this is how Barry relaxes after a hard day of work.)

One Big family

As everyone may know I work for an Asian company. They offer great benefits, and I get to travel a lot, but I must say the working conditions make it a wee bit difficult to contribute to this blog without anyone noticing. As a result I’m the fastest “Alt+tab-er” in the company.

I’ve also learned that when working in these conditions, hygiene becomes even more critical.

(I’m the 7th one from the bottom on the right side).

Mended Lemon & Voodoo

I learnt that after days of packing, sorting and pitching my mind wanders.

Am I a Playa' or what?

Dear Fellow Bloggers,

Just so yall know I am not wasting my time out here while I am off, I made some Internet players. Apparently no one will help me figure out this computer web site stuff, so I am winging it on my own. My modest goal is to make a song player we can post on the blog, each can edit at will, and it will not come on when we log on to the site. Allowing us to share music we might not listen to otherwise.

I made a couple of Internet players.........with some songs on them............this first one is just funky covers.....

http://www.playlist.com/standalone/21908275


This other one is the one on the blog with about 30 -40 songs

http://www.projectplaylist.com/standalone/21755865

I will continue to work on this project.


Later

the playa'

Egg Haiku

Egg picture and toast
Eggs Grits Jelly and box wine
Egg smell bad music

Cracked eggs and other lessons learned

If you go to the store and buy a carton of eggs and don't open the carton to see if any are broken............it will serve your sorry ass right when you get home and find that at least two are cracked.

Playing around

I am playing around with the blog template.....bear with me............to see if I can get the damn player to show and not play when you log on..... and for yall to load songs..............I assume music playing when you log in is irritating the hell out of everyone with speakers turned on.............does anyone out there know jack about websites?

PS Of course you can click on the player and turn the song off...but every time I move around the site or log in ..I get the music....which isn't my intention.

Does anyone know?

Wondering what the "H" stands for in Jesus H. Christ?

Zed's Dead (Or is he?)

I offer this picture to help polvo deal with his family secret.

(reference comment by valencia : "polvo...... ...I think it's time you learned: Ike Turner is (was) your real father. I'm sorry you never got to know your Daddy.")

polvo we are all here for you if you need us.

Performance Enhancing Drugs

I wanted to be the first to publicly

say that I’ve not "knowingly" taken

any Steroids or Human Growth Hormone

in order to obtain a "competitive advantage"

in this or any other blog for which I might

be listed as a “Contributor”

Hit me again Ike!

A couple days ago I learned that Ike Turner died at the age of 76...which makes one wonder. . .What if instead of walking out of that hotel and out of his life Tina had said, "Hit me again Ike, and this time put some stank on it!"

Where would we be today?....rollin' on the river, I'm sure.

Even better....

Speaking of... truth is now they have a computer the size of a pen. Out of one end it projects the "Screen" onto a wall or flat surface - and out of another end of the "pen" if you will it projects the keyboard onto the table. It's a "virtual" keyboard and a virtual monitor....

Sliced bread and backspace keys

While reading my September/October 2007 AARP magazine today..........I came across this advertisement:

Adesso is proud to introduce its New and Improved, Flexible Full Sized Keyboard. This revolutionary keyboard is water resistant, flexible, and dust and contaminant proof. The keyboard is great for use in industrial environments, hospitals, libraries, and marine and boating applications. In fact, almost anywhere dust and liquids are present! The silicon based material is impervious to almost anything! The washable, roll-able keyboard has been called “the best thing to happen to typing since the backspace key.”

I really love this product and the pitch. (Needless to say, I am seriously considering gifting one to each of you for Kwanzaa this year...please send your favorite color to me quickly.) The line that caught my eye was " best thing to happen....................backspace key". The fact they are using the somewhat archaic word "typing" is a nice spin. And it never really dawned on me the significance of the backspace key. I mean I have thought about sliced bread, toilet paper, tampons, and right and left shoes....but somehow the importance of the backspace key had escaped me completely.

Red Foxx was known to say....

"If you follow something ugly home, there's going to be something ugly waiting at the door to let it in." I often think of this line when I meet the parents of some of my students. But I wonder this month if maybe we could substitute the word crazy for ugly. In the past couple weeks, I have enjoyed some good crazy at work. When I called a parent to discuss her daughter's academic difficulties and mentioned that she was having a bad day, she told me that she was not surprised because her daughter's moon was in Scorpio that day. I made a note of this on her card. Today, a mom came in at the end of a long school day to sign a release for me to share notes with her child's therapist. This mom told me that years ago she (the mom) was mistakenly diagnosed as schizophrenic because she was having car troubles on the day the psychiatrist tested her. I naturally replied, "If I had a dime...." in my most empathetic counselor voice. Ten minutes later, when I peeled out of the parking lot in the mighty suby (yes, that's my '96 subaru legacy, the "Colorado Cadillac"), I was enjoying Simon and Garfunkel's "Cecelia" at full volume....

I was wondering..........

Why haven't we heard from the spouses of some of these writers?........Everyone of you is hooked up with a very intelligent (hey they married you didn't they?) and interesting person...........they all have access to computers.....time to write....and stories to share.

And there is a lot of great information being shared here............ beneficial, educational, and deeply thought provoking. I think yall need to invite them to join in on the fun.................or perhaps they need to become familiar with the phrase: "beat like a rented mule".

This should clarify everything.

Nothing like coffee, a cloudy day, and a quest for clarification (and Photoshop, of course). Cheers.

Endangered Languages Revisited

I have been puzzling over the statement: "97 percent of the world’s population speaks about 4 percent of the world’s languages; and conversely, about 96 percent of the world’s languages are spoken by about 3 percent of the world’s people." I cannot get my mind around this concept.....It seems that the percentages should be the same. So I thought if I drew a Venn Diagram I could understand it. Then I remembered I failed several math classes. Can someone draw a simple diagram that shows the relationship of a countable binary homogeneous structure with finite signature? It appears to me that the essential criterion must be world population is to number of languages as % of people is to % of languages. But this would make one think the numbers should be directly and inversely the same. Wouldn't this make the overlaps indivisible and the outer orbits form a chain? But this immediatly raises the question, in my mind at least, that the generalised Urysohn spaces forms unequal examples and show that the situation for infinite signature is quite different. If anyone out there got through "Intro to Numbers 101" ...... help me out.

God Almighty!

We were discussing the whole Jesus, God, Son-of-God, and the Holy Ghost idea at breakfast. We had a 2 hour delay-start for work today, which allows for in-depth discussions instead of 10 second sound bites. ( Kinda like watching The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer instead of Katie ) The question came up concerning an actual head count on Team God or the number of captains, co-captains, on that team. P-Lou allowed as to how she thinks they all may just be one transformer like identity. Would that be a great movie or what?

Accept No Substitutes!

Yea, so I went to the dentist last week. I was dreading having my teeth prepped for 2 - count 'em TWO - crowns, and the prep included removing an old crown. So I had to mentally prepare for this appointment. Getting a real appointment was no small feat as the dentist was sick, and two new appointments had been made since the original Wednesday afternoon time. When I arrived for my 9 a.m. Friday appointment, I was told the dentist showed but was about to go home because she couldn't stop coughing. The receptionist was profusely apologetic and apparently felt the need to produce a dentist. If I could hang on for a few minutes, she would try to get a stunt double dentist on the line to see if he could come in later in the day. She finished a call then asked if I could come back at noon. She assured me I would love the new dentist, though when she saw him last night at a funeral he was very depressed because his best friend had just died. I arrived at 11:55 a.m. and sat in the chair for 45 minutes before office staff started assuring me - with some excitement - that the dentist was in the parking lot. He materialized just a minute later beside my chair wearing his dental mask. (Apparently, he drives with it on.) So, in 2 hours, I never did see the face of this "dentist" who apologized for his tardiness, confessing he was confused and grieving. But I have never seen a dentist or any other medical professional who looked like this! He was in his sixties, I would guess, with long black hair that stuck straight up and eyebrows that were twice the width of Andy Rooney's. He looked like a combination of Danny Thomas's Uncle Tanoose (Make Room for Daddy TV show, 1957-1964: photo enclosed for the fetus readers) and Don King! He assured me he was gentle and fast (2 qualities I would want only from a dentist) and gave me 10 minutes worth of shots on both sides of the 2 neighboring teeth - explaining that he liked to aspirate as he goes (who doesn't?!) for maximum benefit. He checked another patient then came back a few minutes later to check if I was numb. I was drooling and could not close syllables or feel anything above my waist. He suggested I wear goggles then proceeded to jackhammer off my old crown while the assistant sprayed water around the room. He would punctuate each 5 minute session of high speed drilling (which made me think earplugs might be as helpful as the novocain) with another request for his screwdriver. "No, we don't use those any more because they rust", the assistant kept repeating as he tried various, less favorite tools while mumbling "I could really pop this off now with that screwdriver...well, I'll drill a little more." He explained to me that it had been years since he'd been in the office (now I feel reassured - apparently, they used different tools "back in the day.") A couple hours later, when the novocain wore off at home, Victor had some vicodin to share - prescribed a few months ago by a REAL dentist....

hump

Despite what we are told as children, camel's humps are NOT full of water. Instead, they are fat and muscle. Look it up if you don't believe me, suckas...........

A Croat in Paris

Today I have come to a realization. As a Croatian day laborer once told me, "...ah, the more money you make, the more you spend. I would just like to work less."

The more money I make, the more massages I have to pay for; in order to heal my damaged body from all the work I had to do, to make all the money to buy all the massages.

*sigh* such is the circle of life.

Free

I learned last night that if you get a *Free* Ticket to an NBA game and they're good seats that you'll offer to pay for parking - because that's the right thing to do - and that will run you $15, then when inside you'll offer to buy the 'ticket giver' a beer - because that's also the right thing to do but then you find out that each beer is $9 because apparently Heiniken is a "Premium" beer in Texas(?)... and if you get a couple more beers at $9 and a small cold pizza you'll soon spend around $80 to attend a free basketball game. But as long as your team wins and you've had enough beers that you feel the need to "run your mouth" a bit - even if it makes the people in front of you wearing the home team jerseys a little mad - it's well worth it.

Crapito

If you're really hungry at school, and you are checking out the choices in the school cafeteria - because, once again, you've neglected to pack a lunch, don't make a hasty choice for something labeled "crispitos" because they might not taste as good as that sounds.

Endangered Languages

I've learnt quite a lot this week, bein' that it was the final week of my first semester back at school. First, I learnt, that you're only punishing yourself when you wait to do big-ass projects to the last minute, Second, I learnt that one day your procrastination might catch up to you and bite you in the ass, and third, I feel - well....I feel like I've been beaten like a rented mule. Here's what else I learnt this week during the negotiation and renegotiation of....stuff...

97 percent of the world’s population speaks about 4 percent of the world’s languages; and conversely, about 96 percent of the world’s languages are spoken by about 3 percent of the world’s people.

Furthermore...

Over the last five centuries, an estimated one-half of all the world’s indigenous languages died. Of the estimated 7,000 living languages in the world today, nearly half are likely to disappear by the year 2100.

Every two weeks the last fluent speaker of a language passes on and with him/her goes literally hundreds of generations of traditional knowledge encoded in these ancestral tongues.

The guy with the beard in the photo is the last speaker of his language. Ever.


Sources: National Geographic News, 2007 & The Living Tongues Institute, 2007 & UNESCO, 2004

Fruit of the vine

It suddenly dawned on me, that I actually have 10 liters of wine sitting on the counter top in our kitchen. I think this is more alcohol than I have ever owned at one time in my life.

I am not sure what this means....but one might say this means I have become a collector of fine wine. (I am not one to brag, but you probably can't read the January "Born-On-Date" in the picture.)

And just for the record, I never understood the appeal of wine, until I was introduced to the beverage, by certain in-laws I originally met in Gulfport, Florida.

Avoiding an early death....

According to the National Weather Service it is recommended to stay off the toilet during severe thunderstorms. If lightning hits within even 60 feet of your house, it can not only jump through phone and electrical lines but also run through plumbing.

However don’t worry about the aforementioned possibility because Purdue scientist discovered that constant worrying shortens your life span by 16 years.

And whatever you do, if you can’t find a toilet, don’t pee in the ocean. Sharks are attracted to bodily fluids.

Like a rented mule............

I read the phrase for the first time today: "Beat like a rented mule!".....which I plan to slip into conversation at my earliest opportunity.

Pie in the sky

If you go to a pie party..........on a Sunday afternoon..........and eat 6 different types of pie...and drink a big-ole-ass glass of wine.........and come home and eat two bowls of raisin
bran......your stomach will hurt for two days and you won't sleep well at all.

Blackened to perfection

When you make jiffy pop - and who doesn't? - don't be in a hurry to discard the few popped kernels that are blackened on the bottom - because those can be the tastiest! (Target is offering this blast from the past in their $1 aisle this week.)

the (re)telling

boan has started a new blog, and yer'all invited. It's called the (re) telling, and the premise is that it is a collective memory of told, retold, and soon-to-be told stories. all true. or mostly true. or close enough to true that they could've been true. or not. It's like a village version of NPRs "Story Corps"... a place for woven narratives .... an example of a good story would be like, when I had 'valencia' believing for years that I was capable of dissappearing, reappearing, and overall magicery. If you've got a story to tell, send me an email and I'll unlock the door.... http://collectiveretelling.blogspot.com/

You may not know it......But

OK Gang........several of you have "Drafts" out there that have not been published for everyone to see. This is fine and no big deal...but no one else can read them when they are saved as "drafts"....you have to press the "publish post" button (not the 'save as draft' button) to put your thoughts on the blog.

If you want to publish or delete these drafts..........go to "view blog"..then to "new posts" and then to "edit posts": you (individually) will see drafts out there by Polvo, Abbzug, Zoolander, and Valencia. I assume these are only visible to the writer (or a system administrator). You may want to go out there and "publish" them to the blog or delete the draft. ( I fixed a few I had out there today).

Have a fun sunday.

Once upon a time....................

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done." George Carlin